Wound up tight, but can't keep it down

Ever since I was in my teens, I've always been "wound up tight" as they say. A lot of people are like that in that when stressed they tense up, especially in the nether regions. And in my case, my anus could crush wallnuts. I remember even back when I was just 16 I'd wake to a very persistent dull pain which felt like I'd just been violated with a broom handle. I'd often joke to myself that I was just fucked by a ghost, because that's how it felt (even though I'd never had sex of any kind in my life, I just assumed that's what it must be like). As the years went on and life became more stressful the pain and frequency of these episodes increased to the point where a few years ago I finally broke down to see the doctor about it. No one really knew what it was, just educated guesses; prostatitis, epiditomitis, or at worst colon cancer. It turned out to be none of the above (although the symptoms are the same). It was all of my own making, since I essentially live the majority of my life "clenched" down there as it were. Thus, when I sleep and my muscles attempt to relax, often they will go into painful spasm just to keep their "clenched" state, which wakes me to severe pains. But now that the problem has been identified, I believe I'm on a path to recovery as I haven't been awoken from the pain in about 3 weeks now since I was diagnosed. PLUS, I got a perscription of "Flomax", which helps to relax the bladder and urethra muscles allowing me to urinate less frequently and more. AND...as a side effect of me not being so wound up and my innards clenched/distorted, I can't keep my boner down. It's almost like I'm 18 again, which is bad since when things are good, I have a high libido as it is. It may just be my body getting used to its new condition and may just change back to "normal" soon. Regardless, it's interesting.

It's also difficult when I hook up, because right after I cum, I get really randy again and want seconds. Yesterday a guy I met online came over. He's a toned guy in his early 30's who is half-spanish/half-italian but has a very thick Spanish accent (almost unintelligible when he speaks in English OR Spanish). Right when we got our clothes off, I could tell he was normally a very hairy bastard, but thankfully he shaves most of his body. He immediately said, "Wow, this is great dude. Just like when I was in the navy." Uh-huh. Nice subtle "plug" there. But I will admit, this guy took it like a champ; VERY masculine, grunted a LOT while I was fucking him, told me to do it harder, faster, more etc, very generous with the "fuck me!'s" And when I came (I don't know if it's the flomax or just my "new" relaxed system, but I am experiencing some earth-shattering orgasms these days too!) I was almost immediately ready for a second round. But the former sailor-boy wasn't, so I was basically left with my hard dick. It will be interesting to see how long this lasts. Either way, as long as it means less physical pain in my life, I'm all for it.

Low drama, high sperm count

I spent most of last weekend and the earlier part of this week fixing up my old place at the behest and incessant nagging of my new realtor. Yes, I have decided that I just don't have the free time or energy to sell my old place myself. And the market isn't very good right now, so chances are it may unfortunately be on the market for awhile (it's already been 3 weeks). And with the exception of the occasional annoying Chinese woman who come to view the appartment then spend the entire time bitching and complaining about how this or that isn't done (there have been about 3 now), there really hasn't been much interest. But aside from being utterly "Po" at the moment, life is very nice. I haven't been doing much boning, mostly because I've been spending time fixing up my old place for sale. But I did fuck that Venezuelan guy at my gym a few times over the past few weeks. Only the last two times I tried (Monday and Weds this week), the environment wasn't very accomodating. Meaning, there were always a couple of relentless old-fat Asian onlookers who refused to leave the steamroom. And the Venezuelan guy didn't help things as he would start stroking his dick for anyone at the drop of a hat. I was right in that he really just got off on the whole "sex at the gym" thing. So, even though he would fondle me and make gestures like he wanted to get fucked, because of the timing, we couldn't do it there. And when I told him we should go somewhere else, both times he gave the same excuse, "Eets getting to late."The second time this happend, not only did I have major blue-balls, but I got really pissed at the realization that more and more old fags (especially of the Asian pursuasion) have been inundating my gym. Add to this, the intelligence level and professionalism of the staff seems to be on a downward spiral. So, on my way out I asked for a "travel pass" as I'm gonna be traveling soon and wanted gym access there. The scrawny 19-year-old Asian kid looked at me like a deer looks at an oncoming jeep. I asked again politely since he was obviously new, by then an older very buffed and NICE looking thuggish Filipino guy who works there came over to help him out. While they were doing that, I remembered I might need to change my credit card info, so asked the older Flip how I should do that. I know this guy understands me, but he is always very brusk and almost evasive everytime I talk to him for anything. So, I had to of course ask twice. He asked me about 3 times what my membership number was, and each time I told him the same thing. Finally he started filling out some form, then said distantly, "what's your new address?" At this point I was getting really pissed off, because he obviously wasn't even paying attention. So, when I told him a third time that I needed to change my credit card info, NOT my address, something snapped. I just thought, "Why the fuck am I even bothering with this place anymore." So, I told the muscle-flip, "Actually, just get me the cancelation papers, I want to cancel my membership." He looked at me like, "whatever. not my problem." He reached under the counter for some more papers, then just set them on the counter and said, "you'll need to fill these out." So, I started to fill outt the documents...until I realized I was filling out an "enroll a friend!" document. I was so incredibly pissed off at this point (blue-balls and incompetence is a bad combination), so I asked, him, "This form says 'enroll a friend'. Is this the form I'm supposed to use for cancelation?" He just looked around briefly under the desk and said, "let me go see if we have some in the back." But before he could break eye-contact I said, "Listen dude, I know how mentally challenging this job must be for you, and I'm sure it was either work behind the desk of a gym or finish your PHD at Stanford, but I've been standing here for 10 minutes now trying to do just two VERY simple things, and NEITHER of them are done. So, to make things easier on both of us, I'll do the cancelation over the phone. And hopefully you'll be to busy figuring out how the lightswitch works to be the one to answer the phone."Then I just turned and left. I coulda been nicer, but just really wasn't in the mood for indifference and incompetence. The whole experience put me in a really bad mood. By the next day tho, I shrugged it off, canceled my membership over the phone and that's that. I'm not "quitting" the gym, as there is one at my work which is free...and NICE. So, it's really just an expense I can do without (and the occasional possibility of fucking the Venezuelan dude wasn't worth $40 a month). And today, after my gym routine at the "new" gym, I hit the restrooms at the park on my way home. There, I got to fuck a NICE 30-something skinny blond dude. He's obviously a computer geek as he has long hippie-like hair in a pony-tail in the back. His ass was NICE and I pounded it with no mercy in the stall until some old guy came in. I could tell it was an old guy and not a cop or anything since he went over to the urinals to do his business (very loudly), plus he was wearing white socks and sandals. After about a minute he finally left, and started pounding the geek again mercilessly, but he was loving it. Finally I came and as I was taking the condom off he knelt down and started sucking my dick again. I let him for a few seconds (easy way to clean up actually) then just zipped up and left. Hey, what you see is what you get when you meet at a bathroom. No pleasantries necessary.And finally, speaking of pleasantries, or rather UNpleasantries, a friend of mine sent this video. It's truly gross, but in a Roseanne Bar singing kinda way.

Multi-boning

Last night was the BBQ of my friend "Hans". Hans is a slender blond 30-something guy from Belgium and lives in SJ with his Ukranian boyfriend. The crowd was pretty ethnically mixed and was pleasant all around. Hans was going from lap to lap talking about his recent trip to Mongolia and offering shots of Mongolian "Chinggis" vodka (yup...he's in one of those "open" relationships). After night fell, most of the guests left, but those of us who stayed took turns in their hot-tub, nekked. There was one other very nice looking guy who also came with his "boyfriend" but was cruising me the whole time and finally sat next to me in the hot-tub. He had a really fat dick, and was making a lot of insinuations about how big he was etc. But then I got out and basically had him beat on length. And later that night, about 6 of us ended up having a nice group scene. Well, sorta nice; there was a big dopey over-weight clueless Asian guy who was really irking me. But it was Hans' party, and I guess he found him exotic. Anyway, I pounded Hans with no mercy and he seemed to love it. I also wanted to fuck the dude who was cruising me, but he made it very clear he was a top and never gets fucked. So, I told him we should share Hans. But the thing is, his dick really wasn't much bigger hard than it was soft. Meaning, nice and fat when it's sagging, but not much bigger hard (which apparently he was having trouble doing). So, bottom line is, it was nice taking the long ranger out and putting all the other boys to shame in the room : )

Tonight was kinda weird tho. During the day I had to do an open house (yup...still haven't sold my old place) and other domestic chores at my new place. I got kinda bored so I went online and a guy I hooked up before asked if I could come over (I'll call him Paulie, because he looks like a balding Paulie Shore). Paulie's pic is VERY out of date, but he still has a nice body so I told him he could come over. He asked if he could bring a friend which I said was OK. It turns out this friend was a loser, druggie "peter pan" wannabe (says he's 22 when he's really 29). I've seen this guy online a few times and never gave him any notice cuz he also says he's a total top. When they got in, I immediately took off Paulie's clothes and he started sucking my dick. The loser started watching and complimenting me on my dick. He says in his profile that he's 10", and sure enough, true to form, he was barely 7, so I got him beat. He kept telling me he wanted to see me fuck Paulie and cum inside him so he could use my cum as lube, and saying how he had already fucked Paulie earlier. I was so revolted by this situation at that point as a) I wasn't going to bareback anyone and b) the thought of sticking my dick where this diseased loser had been wasn't really appealing to me. I walked over and put a rubber on, which apparently disappointed the loser, so he just got on top of Paulie and started fucking him raw. He was doing him pretty rough. I got behind the loser and tried to put my cock in him and he said, "I don't get fucked." I said, "you sure?" and he said, "Not unless you want a black eye." This guy was really grating on me. He kept pounding Paulie and at one point slapped him hard across the face. Paulie stopped and pulled the loser out of him and sat up. Loser just stopped and said, "You gonna live?" Paule nodded and said, "yeah, kind hurt tho." I took this as my chance, so then I leaned Paulie down on his back raised his legs and took over. I made that boy moan like a cat in heat. Loser seemed to be getting off on watching me fuck Paulie, because in a few minutes he started cumming all over the place. All i could think was, "Fuck, now I'm gonna have to get some sterile gloves to clean that jizz up." When I was done, I was in no mood for idle chit-chat and really wanted both of them to leave. Loser's attitude was just not making me feel comfortable. I think Paulie got the hint and they both left shortly.

Even though they're gone now, I feel so unclean. Weird. What can I say?

Life Events...

It's been a couple weeks since I've been able to post here, and mostly because I've had those major life events going on: 1. I left my mediocre job on the same day that 2) I started my new job (which I love 3) I I moved from my old house into my new one (that's a story) and 4) I put my old house on the market, and this is giving me nothing but grief...but manageable grief.

So, my quick moving story is this: 4 friends of mine had offered to help me move, which would have been more than enough. I got all my "ducks in a row" and got the cable guy for the new place, the rug guys for my old place, the rental truck etc all set up for the move. The day before, I got a call from my friend (soon-to-be former friend) "Ox", as in "strong as an). Ox is a very big/buffed guy from Nicaragua, who has a very laid-back and low-key demeanor (he'll fall asleep on you in mid-sentence if you're in a car together). But for the most part a good guy and reliable (he came to visit me in the UK when I was living there a few years back). Ox said, "what time do you need me there tomorrow?" Since Ox lives in SF and doesn't have a car, I told him another friend of mine would be passing thru SF to pick him up and that I'd take him home that eve. He said, "Cool. then we can finish moving stuff from my place to my Mom's house." I was kinda caught off guard and asked, "How big is the stuff and how much?" "Just a couple of big things and a few small boxes. We could do it in one trip" he replied. "That's fine, but they'd need to fit in my car, cuz I only have the truck for the afternoon until 5pm" I said. Ox got very quiet and then said, "Ah. OK. I'll work it out. I'm going to get on the train now so I'll call you later." then he hung up. I started to think that maybe I could try to extend the truck rental, but then I remembered they also charge .99 cents a mile, which would mean an extra $80 for me to take it up to SF and back. Then I remembered there is another truck rental place up there, so I made a reservation for the next day in the eve and thought that would take care of the problem.

Next day comes around and of course my first friend Houston was late out of bed, but said he'd still be coming over and would call me as he was getting near SF to pick up Ox. Meanwhile, the 2 other friends came up with very good excuses on why they couldn't come and help today, but assured me they were very sorry about it. I called Ox to let him know Houston was on his way, and got his Voicemail so I left a message for him to call me. Next call I got was an hour later from Houston telling me he was close to SF but neither of us had heard back from Ox. I called again,a nd got voicemail. The third time I called and got voicemail, I just mentally adjusted all my plans to the fact that Ox had flaked. Which meant I had to cancel the truck in SF I had rented for him (luckly they didn't charge me). Houston arrived and we spent the entire day/eve moving. Houston is a great guy, and a great friend. I wish it were in me to be the boyfriend he wants, but it just can't and won't happen. Around 10 pm that night I finally got a call from Ox, which I was too pissed off to take, so this time he left a voicemail saying, "Hey, I'm so sorry. I thought the move was tomorrow. I was called into work today and left my cell at home. I'm really sorry and hope I can make it up to you." Ox is another guy who wishes I was his boyfriend. I've helped him out on a couple occasions, and haven't always been warm and friendly with him sometimes specifically when he gets too mushy and clingy with me. But I really never expected him to flake like that. I'm kind of still debating on whether this was grounds to end our 6-year friendship. More on that later.

When I got up the next morning I felt like a train had hit me. I was sore ALL OVER MY FREAKIN' BODY. Sex that week was definitely out of the question, which was actually timely since I had relatives over the entire week for a round of "well-wishing" and constant suggestions (nagging) on how to fix up my new place. By the time the next weekend rolled around, I was definitely feeling randy, which was good since Boy-bitch had been bugging me to come over. Although I needed my rest, I also needed to get laid...BAD. So, I picked his drunken ass up from the BART station and we spent the night/morning fucking. Although in fairness, he did let me sleep more than he's ever done this time. And he let me take a couple photos: the first is when he was waiting for it,


the second is after his hole has been thoroughly fucked.


I'm hoping next week things will slow down enough for me to catch my breath, and that my place will sell so I can get that monkey off my back.

Moment of Weakness

Not trying to sound like a whiney little bitch here, but I've definitely had my share of disappointment and been dealt more than enough bad hands in life. Add to this the fact that I was raised under the constant vigilance against the evil eye. For anyone who doesn't know what that means, it essentially creates an atmosphere where no one accepts compliments, celebrates good fortune or shows any pride in accomplishment due to the fact that the "evil eye" (see: someone who is jealous of you) might try and take it all away from you. "The tallest stalk is the first cut." A friend of mine who was also raised in this culture was talking about this to me the other day, and she made the observation that both of us a) have great difficulty accepting when something good happens b) accepting that we actually deserve good things to happen and c) always tend to prepare for and expect the worst, regardless of the slightness of the possibility it will actually happen. I think she's right about most of it. Although I tend to gauge my expectation/preparation for the worst based on probability. Although sometimes I don't have enough information to determine the actual statistical probability, so I tend to bump it up to be "on the safe side".

But the fact is, my loan for the new house went through, I found enough money to cover the closing costs, I'm at a job that I could stay at if I wanted (but I don't) and have something better lined up for the end of the month. The market is good so I shouldn't have too much problems selling my current home to recoup my costs from the new home. So, although my friends, family and associated well-wishers will most likely not evere hear me say this; life is very good right now. And regardless of the probabilities that my new home won't sell, I lose both jobs, I get struck by a meteorite or get AIDS and/or herpes from some random hook-up, I am going to enjoy this "good season" and try and make it last as long as possible.

Jethro called me again yesterday, and maybe because of my current subdued euphoria, I actually enjoyed hearing from him and entertained the thought of seeing him again. Plus, he spent a good 4 minutes actually talking to me on the phone, which is odd because I didn't think his vocabulary would last past the 3 minutes /20 second mark. So, I decided I would see him today. I made the drive up to his place in SF and he opened the door to me in a wifebeater and boxers. Nice. But he got just a little chunky since the last time I saw him (about 6 months ago now that I think of it). He still had a dopey expression, but he was very happy to see me and didn't use any annoying catch-phrases. Within about 5 minutes, we were kind of pushing each other around, which turned into wrestling which then turned into me forcing hm to bend over on his bed so I could take down his boxers and work on his hole with my tongue. His ass was still nice, but he had definitely stopped working out or something. It wasn't "bounce a quarter off it" firm like it was before. Not complaining...just an observation. And soon, he gave it up for me, and I was pounding his boy-pussy like crazy. One thing I definitely liked about Jethro, was the playfullness of when we have sex. I like the macho man-handling at the begining, but during sex while I'm pounding him, a lot of times he will intentionally push me out if I'm on top of him, or step away if I'm doing him from behind, then make me stop to ask (or beg) for more. And he always lets me back in. It's just a control thing he does, which I find really hot. And this time, he was actually making a connection with me. It used to be all about him, but this time he was really trying to accommodate me. And when I we were done, of course he did his patented strut around the appartment, saying how good that felt, and how my dick was perfect for his ass, and how he needed to get fucked so bad and that "did it". I know I said I woulnd't be seeing Jethro again, but I'm glad I did. And this wasn't really one of those moment of weakness fucks either, cuz like I said earlier, I'm feeling VERY good now. So, we'll see. I don't expect anything long-term or deeper than an occasional fuck with Jethro. But this last time was definitely a good experience.

Back to reality, the rest of this weekend will be spent getting my place up to spec (painting, upgrading, replacing stuff etc) so that I can put it on the market next week. Definitely going to be a full agenda these coming weeks. But I'm ready for it. And still got the evil eye in my peripheral vision.

Final Fucking-ly!!!

Today I finally got the job offer (in writing) from Job #2, and I am SO relieved! Since the acquisition of my present company on Monday, the atmosphere around here has really been like that of a 14-year-old girl: major highs and lows with dramatic outbursts thrown in for good measure. The management has been doing its best to keep reassuring everyone how great things are going to be etc, but you can see their new sports-cars in their eyes when they talk, so you just know their thinking about how great it's going to be FOR THEM. As for me, I am officially TAPPED as far as my savings/stocks/piggy-bank is concerned, since I have to come up with a huge sum to close on my house purchase by this coming Wednesday, which means I'm not going to take much time off from when this job ends and my next one begins (I start on the 30th). Most likely I'll announce I'm planning on leaving the week after next, as my boss will most likely want me to leave the same day I announce it. If it's one thing I have learned these past 10 years is that no matter how well you get along with your employees and managers, corporations are just that, and they're always looking out for their own good, and couldn't care less about the individual when it comes down to it.

The trick this coming week will be to be as inconspicuously unproductive as possible; not creating waves, not speaking up, but at the same time not drawing attention by absence or silence. The people around me know I'm in the process of moving, so I kind of have a built-in excuse. I'll also throw in a Dental visit and maybe a couple of other reasons to keep me out of the office.

As far as boning, this week has gone by pretty quickly...too quickly to focus on the long ranger. I'll definitely make up for that over the weekend.

The Perfect Storm of Stress

sIt's been a couple weeks since I've posted, since too much has been going on. I've been way stressed out from a) starting a new job b) trying to wrap up the job offer from the job I REALLY want and c) buying a new house (which means dealing with idiot loan agents, slimey realtors and whiney sellers). One of these events alone is stressful enough, but together they have been creating a perfect storm of stress. My new job has been OK...nothing really to write home about. A lot better pay than the last, but still, not much going on that stimulates me. Even still, 1 week after I started, it suddenly got acquired by a very well-known "dynamic" company, and now the mood is very jubilant (I'm feigning jubilation, but my heart is just not in it, since I'm really not vested). One good thing about the job is that since I'm literally surrounded by Indians, I asked one of my co-workers about the song I posted here, and his response was "But of course I know it! It was one of the top Bollywood movies back in 2000" (it's a lot more authentic if you imagine that last sentence in a strong Indian accent like Apu from the Simpsons).

I haven't been boning as much as I'd like (pshhh, when HAVE I ever gotten as much as I'd "like"). But I have been hooking up with this guy at the gym recently. He's a very buffed light-skinned buy from Venezuela (looks like a lighter Matt Leblanc). Unfortunately, he's one of those danger monkeys who only likes to have sex in the gym as kind of a fetish, due to all the sweaty jocks around and the high risk he might actually get caught. Still, I managed to pound his ass twice in the showers (although with everyone coming and going, I can never seem to manage to get a full minute of fucking before I have to pull out and wait for whoever it is to walk past, towel off, leave etc). He does have a great body, nice ass and he's very jockish and masculine, so I'll definitely hit it again if I get the chance, even though it is pretty tedious doing it in the showers at the gym. Not really a quality fuck, but I guess it makes up for it in ambience.

So, hopefully this week I will FINALLY hear back from job option 2, and I can end this long drawn out process. I figure even though I've only been at my present job for 2 weeks, because it is just getting aquired, I have the perfect excuse, so I don't think there will be severely hard feelings. Next week will be hectic as I'll be moving to my new house and trying to get this one fixed up and ready to be sold. Does the fun ever stop????

More Montreal Mounting

I'm just back from Montreal, which was a BLAST. First, it was great to see Kev-bo in his new "native habitat": SWEET job in a very swank building, active social life, great athletic shape (he's been using a trainer) and NICE house...with the sole exception that it currently comes with a geeky born-again Singaporean room-mate who has been causing him a bit o' drama of late. I caught a bit of it when I arrived; he was very nice to me and introduced me to his "auntie" who had also just arrived for a visit. While we chatted for a bit, Kev-bo arrived and almost immediately we were cornered and asked if the two of us were still planning to head to Quebec City the next day, and if so, would we mind if Auntie joined us. She was right there, so how could we say no. While I had a GREAT time in Quebec City the next day (my first time there, and very impressive), I found myself thinking how the last thing I would have expected on this trip was to be sight seeing with a middle-aged Chinese woman. She was definitely nice and sweet though, but her presence put a definite damper on our behavior and conversation topics (middle-aged Chinese women are on par with kittens to me as far as wood-kill is concerned).

When we got back to Montreal, I made up for my good-behavior that night. Kev-bo told me about Park Maisoneuve, which purportedly had a great cruising area. It wasn't all that, but I did finally end up fucking some young Mexican kid there which was pretty nice. The next day while Kev-bo was at work, I met up with a VERY nice Canadian kid; tall, lanky, dark complected and GREAT ass. He let me fuck him on and off for a couple hours until I finally got 2 loads off. The heat was stiffling the entire trip, which kinda affected my performance. But I managed to get up enough energy to meet Kev-bo at the gym he goes to (la Cite) where we both worked out separately (as I said, he has a trainer now). From there, I took him to a restaurant which was good, but very spicey, which as he pointed out repeatedly gave him constant gas, causing him to unintentionally "hot-box" his boss when she paid him a surprise visit in his office the next day.

The heat was increasingly unbearable, and Kev-bo had resolved to buy an air-conditioner after he got home from work. So, I spent the day sight-seeing and hooking up with a 20-something lanky Haitian dude (I also got 2 rounds in him, dispite the heat). Unfortunately I also got into a minor accident with a gay middle-aged taxi driver with dyed blond hair who hit me as he careened into my lane. My rental car suffered only a couple scratches, but his was noticeably damaged. Serves him right for driving like an idiot. When Kev-bo got home, we ended up going to Costco to buy the air-conditioner. But unfortunately, not only did they not have one in stock, but the employees were absolutely unhelpful as far as even ordering one or any other options, so we left empty-handed for dinner. That night was pretty spectacular as there was a fire-works show going on which we were able to watch from the vantage point of a roof-top bar. After that, we went to a boy-stripper bar to watch young Quebecois gyrate and masturbate themselves on stage. This particular club seemed to draw the oldest, fattest most drunken patrons, which these strippers seemed to be drawn to like Paris Hilton to a ho-contest. None of them gave either Kev-bo or me the slightest attention. Oh, well. They're loss, since I was actually prepared to even pay for a fuck with one of them (I've only paid for sex one time in my life...and it was in Montreal).

When Kev-bo and I decided to call it a night, we were greeted by a TORRENTIAL rain storm outside. Kev-bo called a taxi to take us back to where I had parked my rental car. Unfortunately, in my haste to exit the taxi to rev-up my car so we could make a hasty getaway in the rain, the spare set of keys Kev-bo had given me slipped out of my pocket and down a manhole (I distinctively heard the "klink"). Dispite being sure they keys were gone forever, I looked around for a good 10 minutes in the pouring rain just to make sure. And they were gone...just gone. That kinda bummed me out cuz I hate losing or damaging things that aren't mine.

That night the rain had brought an INCREDIBLE relief to the heat..just in time for me to leave the next morning. All in all, dispite the heat, it was a great trip. Got to see my friend, socialize, bone down...good company, good food and good times all around. Now...on to the next chapter of my existence.

Montreal Mounting

...as opposed to the former "Brazilian Boning". Since I'll be leaving my job, I thought I'd take some time off and see my friend, Kev-bo in Montreal. Plus I had been looking into the costs of some elective plastic surgery out there, but thanks to the EXTREMELY weak dollar, it really isn't worth it. But it will definitely be fun to see Kev-bo and catch up. I should be leaving this Sunday (it's a free frequent-flyer ticket). Can't wait!

Saturday Night barely alive

Saturday night, I got another call from Boybitch asking if I was free. I had plans, but told him I'd see what I could do to arrange them, which I did, and later picked him up at the BART station again to take him back to my place. He immediately hopped in the shower this time (which was good, because I didn't want a sloppy bottom in my bed this time). After he came out, we immediately started fucking...HARD. Like I mentioned before, Boybitch likes it rough, including getting spanked hard, which I was very happy to accomodate. But of course, once again, he didn't let me sleep at all that night. Yes, I should have learned my lesson, and I think I finally did. I fucked him 3 different times that night, due to the fact that the boy just would NOT let me freakin' SLEEP.

Later that eve I had to catch up on some work, which included writing a very tactful letter of resignation from my present job. When I spoke to my current boss this morning, she was very calm about it (she's really a nice person deep down, I never had any issues with her). So, I'm now on my way to a new job.

New Job...Old Bones

Today was pretty memorable. I got ONE of the jobs I was applying for. I should be really enthusiastic about it as they are offering me the most money I've ever made at a job. And the reality is I would be had I not been approached by company two mid-way during this process (so, now THIS is the job I'm really interested in). My current crappy job has been keeping me up late and waking me up early as I have daily 6:00am meetings with self-centered East Coasters who think the world revolves around their timezone. So, maybe my lack of enthusiasm also has to do with a bit of sleep deprivation.

As I was iddling the time away today between tedious phone conferences and my ultimate interview with the company I got hired by, I got a hit on an online profile from someone who said he knew me and that I should give him a call. Sure enough, it was a former fuck buddy of mine from 6 years back who I had unintentionally lost touch with when I moved to the UK in 2001. He's a white guy, late 20's, very good looking former Navy (now a nurse, like so many gay Navy guys) so I'm gonna call him Squid. After we talked for awhile, it didn't take long for him to suggest coming over in person to "catch up", which he did. And we had a very long and hard catch-up fuck. He looks pretty much the same as he did 6 years ago, just more mature. And still has the same rock-hard muscular white ass of his. I totally wrecked that today. He was thoroughly impressed too, and he called me 1/2 later from the road to tell me how much he enjoyed it. The fact is, he has been in a "relationship" (yup, one of those) with the same guy ever since he got out of the Navy, and ever since I've known him I've been "the other man". Fine by me, actually. As long as I can tap that ass once or twice a week, i'm fine with picking up where we left off.

Slight of Hand

This last week I've been pretty busy with work. And as some of my friends know, also looking for a new job (I've got two lined up...one I'm really gunnin' for). Add to that, I put an offer on another house, which was a very unpleasant experience due to the fact that I had to deal with a sleazy realtor and a very greedy seller who has his mind set on an unreasonable expectation of what his home is worth. If some rich Arab buys it for that price, then more power to him. I personally know what it's worth and got tired of being dicked around because he thinks he can hold out for more. Over the weekend I hooked up with 4 guys; 2 semi-regulars and 2 "new" guys. One of the two was a nice looking Asian dude; lean-muscular body, masculine looking face and cool personality. He lives in Palo Alto and works at a supermarket as a manager which is SO much better than a hair-dresser from SF. The next day, I hooked up with another guy who was a flight attendant from Mexico City. He was a GREAT fuck. I had so much fun inside him, and he took it like a champ. But somewhere during my day on Sunday, my wallet got picked. Luckily, whoever did it just took the money, and not my credit cards. Could it have been the Mexican flight attendant? Could it have been someone at my gym? Could it have been another quick hook-up early in the day? I dunno. But it was a wake-up call for me to be more vigilant about those things. In 2000 I got my wallet stolen 3 times that year, and in really stupid circumstances. Looking back, I was really in a bad place, and didn't want to be in the US, or at my job, or in that situation. So, the side-effect was risky and negligent behavior, resulting in me just not paying attention to details.Today twink came over again. I don't know what it was, but I had a great time with him this time. I think I just had it in my mind that I was going to use his ass and just not worry about any reciprocation or even if he was enjoying it. And it worked. He loved it.

Miss Universe

Just a very quick update to give my two cents on this: 1) All the Eastern European contestants except Poland look like major ho's who came fresh from a lap-dance at the Spearmint Rhino (and no doubt that's where they will return when they don't win tonight). As for the rest of Europe, Miss Italy needs to remember she comes from the land of pasta, as she is so anorexic looking it's almost unbearable. Miss France looks more Italian than Miss Italy (well...actually she is, and SHE is NICE!) 2) The Americas got it goin' on this year; Miss USA, Aruba, Bahamas, Canada, Brazil, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Paraguay, Peru and (as always) Venezuela are INCREDIBLE. They almost look genetically engineered for this contest. 3) As far as Africa is concerned, Miss Angola is HOT, but Miss Tanzania while very cute, needs to get a wig for this show. 4) Miss Japan and Korea don't look Japanese or Korean. "Preeze to have mole prastic sulgely". And who woulda thunk...Miss India looks pretty sweet there.

No Sleep (Reprise)

There was a guy I was fucking regularly a couple years back; he looked like a younger, darker thinner version of John Seda. He had a very boyish frame but was RIPPED and had a disproportionately HUGE dick (unlike John Seda who is hung like a chihuahua...trust me here). But the thing about this guy is he was always riding on his boyish looks and nature, to the point of being a bitch, which is why I refer to him as "boy-bitch". Boy-bitch could be definitely charming and flirtatious, but at the same time could be a major "I want it MY way NOW" type bitch. He got a little too bitchy for me, so I cut it off with him as I am SO anti-drama. But over the last 3 weeks he's been leaving messages and texting (UGH!) me, asking if he can just come over "to catch up". Since it had been over 2 years, I thought it couldn't hurt, so when he called last night (VERY drunk) and wanted to come over, I said OK. He said he got into an accident and didn't have a car anymore so I'd need to pick him up at the BART station, which I did. When he got into my car, two quick observations hit me: 1) he hadn't changed in 2 years and 2) he wreaked of alcohol. We exchanged quick pleasantries as I drove through the maze on my way back to the freeway to get back home. But something came over me and I pulled over near an alley. I looked at him serious and said, "take your pants off." He looked at me pleasantly startled, "what??" "You heard me. Do it." I commanded. He took his pants off. I reached over to the handle to let his seat back and pushed it down horizontally. "Lie back on your stomach." He obeyed. Then I took out a condom from my "secret stash" in my car and suited up, and got on top of him. He whined and moaned as I eased my cock into his asshole, then I started pumping him hard. I was having a good time until I noticed a horrid stench: yes, boy-bitch was a very sloppy bottom tonite...most likely due to all the alcohol.I pulled out and grabbed a handiwipe I keep around to take the dirty condom off and threw it out the car. Boy-bitch leaned over to pull up his pants but I stopped him, "Nope. You're gonna ride like that till we get home." So, off we went down the freeway with me and boy-bitch butts up reclining in the passengar seat. I would slapp and spank his ass ever minute or so, and as he would wiggle his ass to meet or escape the smack I cought a glimpse of his dick, which was rock hard. When we finally got back to my place, I told him to pull up his pants. We got inside and I ordered him to go into the bathroom and clean up. when he was finally done, I didn't waste any time and threw him on my bed where I raped his hole in every way imaginable. No mercy. After about 1/2 hour of riding him hard I finally came, then he did shortly afterwards while I was still fucking him. I was ready for bed and got under the covers to get some sleep. Throughout the night boy-bitch was grabbing my dick and agressively trying to put it inside him. Around 3am I finally had enough and fucked him again hoping this would satisfy him. No such luck. An hour later he was still pawing at me, and this time I just pushed him off saying, "dude, let me get some sleep." I don't know if it was just due to exhaustion, but I apparently did sleep for a few hours as I was awaken again at around 6am with boy-bitch sucking on my dick. I waited until I had enough energy, then I threw him off me and mounted him again until we both came.After that I tried to get a little more sleep, but noooooo! Boy-bitch wouldn't stop pulling at my cock. I said, "Man! You're not gonna let me sleep at all, are you?" "I want it." was his reply. "Dude, don't be so greedy. I fucked you 3 times in 8 hours." I said, but that didn't stop him so I just got up and washed, then put my clothes on. "Time to go." I told him very casually. I took him back to the bART station where he commanded, "call me" as he left. It was still early so I thought I might as well hit the gym. After that I went to the home despot as I am planning on selling my home (yup, it's decided) so I thought it might be best to do some renovations beforehand. As I was strolling down the flooring aisle, I got a call from Shortie who said he'd be passing through in an hour or so. I don't know why I told him to stop by...but I did. And a couple hours later I got off round 4. This leads me to my present state of pure fatigue. I have a million things to do this long weekend, and so far I have done nothing but fuck. Not necessarily a bad problem, but definitely a tiring one.

Hicks on my dick

I spent this week at Dayton, Ohio at my new job (week 2...week 1 was in Osaka). Dayton is boring as fuck, but BOY did I have fun with those corn-fed white boys who are EVERYWHERE. I ended up hooking up with TWO 20 year old kids (separately). Both were blond; the first was a blond former football jock who still had a bit of baby fat on him. His ass was rock-solid and he just took it like a champ. He just got out of the air force and was working as a short order cook. I ended up fuckng him several times over the two nights he came over to my hotel. The second night he came over, I took him to dinner (we went to an italian restaurant and he put ranch dressing on his pizza...so white trash it's cute!) The third night he had to work so I ended up hooking up with another 20-year-old blond kid who was more of a "gay boy"; he had dyed blond highlights in his already blond hair and was completely tanned. But I will say he was an equally great fuck and had an EXCELLENT body and cute face. DAMN! If Ohio didn't suck so much I'd move there just for the white-trash boy-pussy (and not an Asian to be seen, except the one time my coworkers and I all went out to an Indian restaurant).

Which brings me to the story about my new co-worker; a very cocky and very good looking pretty/tough-boy who talks a LOT. He's dominican/Puerto Rican and has an MBA and his favorite subject is himself, including how he does kick-boxing and ultimate fighting matches several times throughout the year. In fact, he looks (and acts) a LOT like a darker-skinned Oscar De la Hoya with a very manicured tight mustache and beard. The first few conversations we had were the very typical "quien es mas macho" type, where we mentally sized each other up for manliness, bravado, intellect and "story-telling ability" (i.e. when you try to "embellish" or exagerate a story just enough to be undetectable or having someone call you on it). By the end of the week, we both left on a good note. Aside from his narcisism he seems to be a very good guy. I've hung around guys like him all my life, and I know if I put my mind to it we could probably end up having sex. But it would probably be in the context of me stroking his ego (a lot of Latin guys are into transvestites and very effeminite guys just for this reason). But I've never been willing to take that subservient role. Just not for me. Anyway, we'll see what life brings with "Oscar" next time I have to go to Dayton, or we have to travel to some location together (which may be happening a lot).

No Mo' Pussy...

Yes, I'm well aware that in the spirit of the campy British sit-com "Are You Being Served", I have official beat that "pussy" joke to death. It was sad to see the cat I have been taking care of leave today. She is probably the world's most affectionate cat and never once scratched me at all (save when she "kneeds" my lap before sitting down). But today, she scratched and clawed vigorously as I tried to put her inside the cat-carrying case she came in with (she was NOT havin' it). I finally got her inside so her new owner, a certifiable "cat-lady" could take her and give her a new home. I'll miss her, but it's good to have my freedom back without worrying about her on long trips.

After the feline hand-off, I met up with my aunt in Emoryville at a very exotic and untraditional food-court (Sbarro and Panda Express were nowhere to be found). We both had some Korean BBQ, which wasn't that good (dress it up all you want...it's still a food court). From there we went to Berkley to an outdoor Jazz festival, which was KICK ASS. Well, some of it was.

On my way back home, I decided to drive thru SF as there was a guy I met online who has been pretty agressive in wanting to meet up. I got to his place, and he was a cute late 20's but very boyish good-looking guy I'll call Jase, because he looks like a blond Jason Priestly circa 1988 (definitely not the whale of a man he has become today). Jase was very accommodating and let me fuck him for a long time. He has a tight lanky but smaller frame but had a NICE ass and pink hole (gold star for Jase there). He's orignally from South Carolina (and has the twang) and been here for only 4 weeks which may be why he was so nice. SF usually takes at least a month to warp anyone, so we'll see how long that lasts. I'd definitely have a repeat with the boy.

Last but not least, a friend of mine turned me on to this video, which very surprisingly to me contains an actor we both know who has recently achieved a modicum of success in Hollywood. I was bowled over as I don't think he will ever put this on his acting resume. And it's definitely no "big" loss there. You'll have to create an account to view it or it will show up as "removed for content".

I'm Gonna Getchu Osaka...

Back from Osaka, Japan and not a minute too soon. It was one of the oddest experiences I've had travelwise. And I realize I'm sounding pretty provincial to a lot of readers who have already been to Asia, but this was just weird. The fact that rarely ANYONE spoke English outside the hotel (even young highschool age kids who in any other country you would expect to at least know English catch-phrases or passable communication) got old REALLY fast. In the 3 days I was there, I got into exasperating situations with my cluelessly pathetic colleagues twice: once trying to get information about a train and another while simply trying to get cash from any source (ALL the ATM or travel machines are in Kanji and NOT bilingual...nor do they accept foreign credit or ATM cards). The Japanese were extremely polite with very little exception (you'd hardly imagine that just 2 generations ago they were bayonetting babies and commiting genocide thoughout southeast Asia), and the foold was EXCELLENT so that was a positive. But it just got old that you had to point, pantomime or draw what you were looking for on a menu, map, taxi-ride etc. And I had to remind my 2 other corn-fed American colleagues that asking something louder and louder would not necessarily have a different effect on someone who doesn't understand English.

Which brings me to my second epiphany: this job sucks dolphins. This company is NOT where I want to spend any extended part of my career, nor am I impressed with the callibre of people working in it. But as they haven't checked my references before hiring me, no harm no foul, since I can use them for my next round of interviews for whatever next opportunity comes my way.

Back to Japan (but no, I never actually want to physically go back), I realized this would probably be a very "safe" place for me to live, since I didn't find myself physically attracted to anyone there. There were some "cute" women in a very geisha-esque way. But nothing that made me drool. And the guys were just...well, Japanese. Pretty much men and women have similar features, and they almost seem androgenous. I went to the gym in the hotel I was staying at (the Ritz Carleton...first time in my life I'd ever been in one, which ALMOST made up for the cramped conditions of the coach-class airplane ride). The equipment was above average and I had a good workout. But afterwards, I went to the locker-room and was pleasantly surprised to see they had a semi-traditional Japanese bathhouse in back. I REALLY liked the hot and cold water pools and the female attendants were very nice (Japanese men and women don't have any hangups about nudity around the opposite sex- possibly because their genitals are pretty non-distinguishable). While I was soaking, what I'm pretty sure was a gay couple came in the hot pool and started cruising me. They were two non-descript Japanese guys; one in his late 20's and one in his early 20's who were both typically slender and effeminate looking with a kind of faux-punk shoulder-length haircut which is apparently standard over there. But there was really nothing either of them had that could have sparked my interest, so I just kept averting my gaze anytime I felt one of them luring at me or my package.

And that's pretty much it. I'm glad to be home. Gotten laid twice since I got back. I may have a woman come over tomorrow who will take the cat I've been watching. I hope this happens. I'll miss the cat, but I just can't take care of it on my travel schedule.

Gettin Some Puddy...

For the past week I've been the inheritor of a VERY nice cat, thanks to the parting of Houston and his room-mate. It's about 1 year old and extremely effectionate- moreso at first, but now seems to be confident enough that it will still have a home, so it's getting into the natural "standofish" routine of a cat.





The odd and not too pleasing fact is for some reason having the cat around may be directly responsible for a drastic drop in my libido. Twink came over yesterday for a quick fuck, but for some reason, I just didn't appreciate it. He was very willing (let me take a picture of the hole, as I'm kinda getting into taking these kinda pictures for posterity now).

And even though I came, it was weird, as I just wasn't as into it as I should have been. I mentioned before that children have that effect on my libido as well, meaning if I so much as sense that they are around, have been around, are going to be around, then I just feel asexual. Well, I think this cat has the same effect on me and I don't really know why. But I like her for now, especially because she is pretty low-maintenance all-in-all, which is good for me since my new job will keep me traveling heavily.

On that note, I will be taking my first ever trip to Japan this weekend unfortunately. I say unfortunately because I have spent my entire professional career avoiding a trip to Japan, as I am the furthest thing from a Nipponophile. I have absolutely NO no affinity for the culture, language or people in general. I occasionally eat sushi...and that's the extent of it. This time I'm only there for a day (about 36 hours) but there's a possibility I will have to go there for two weeks after this trip. THAT will suck.

Left Behind...

Left Behind
I got back from my trip last night. To summarize: I got a job offer doing something that has the remote possibility of being interesting and fulfilling, but probably isn't. The money was decent, but not great. I accepted the offer, but I gave a start date at the end of this month. So, in the meantime I am pursuing other opportunities here in the US as well as in Europe. Interesting days ahead.

After Chicago, I made the side trip to Seattle to visit my relatives. That was fun as it is always good to see them. My aunt is Filipina so she's really plugged into the Asian community of Seattle, and we made a whole night out of eating at various Vietnamese (BBQ), Chinese (Dim Sum) and Japanese (Mochi and ice-cream) places in downtown Seattle. I was SO stuffed by the time the night was over. The next day, I did get laid by one guy I met online that I hooked up with on my way to the airport. Nothing to write home about, but it did make me nice and relaxed for my airplane ride home, and last night I got a good night's sleep. This morning I got what may be my last call from Toby, saying he was leaving tomorrow for Indiana but wanted my dick one last time. I know I go on and on about how much I love his white boy-butt, so I decided to take a couple phone-cam pictures so I could post them. The first one is before I fucked him:


The second one you can see he's taken a pounding from the long-ranger and his hole is much wider now.


Anyway, I hope he has a safe drive back and a good life. In other news,
I may be forced to safeguard a cat for a friend (Houston) is moving temporarily (?) into an appartment that doesn't allow pets. I like the cat, so we'll see how that transpires. That's about it for now.

On the Road Again

One of my LEAST favorite things to do in life is wake up early. When I know I need to wake up early for an important event, I end up sleepless all night until about an hour before I'm supposed to wake up, which is probably what's going to happen tonite. I have a job interview in Chicago for some mediocre but relatively well-paying position. If I get the job, I'll be on the road doing projects around the country, but for all intents and purposes working from my "home office", which is cool. I'm kind of indifferent about it as I'm really on the fence of if I still want to stay in this country for much longer. So, I'm also considering pursuing other opportunities back in Europe. This is my present conundrum.

While I'm relatively unexcited about tomorrow's interview, since the company is flying me out to Chicago for the day and back supposedly, I exchanged the ticket to get a stop-over in Seattle, WA on my way back home. Why? To visit my favorite relatives (aunt, uncle and two cousins effectinately called "the brats" who are in their early/mid 20's now). Plus, I may meet up with a VERY old friend of mine who I haven't seen for over 15 years if things work out. Since I found out Deputy Dawg passed, I've kind of reconsidered getting back in touch with old friends.

Speaking of old friends, I spoke to Kev-bo the other day as I wanted to turn my Chicago trip into a stop-over to Montreal, but he said he was going to be in Germany. Better luck next time. I gave him the name of a bar called "Bau" in Munich that I LOVE going to. It's a regular seedy gay bar, but it's PACKED with horny guys from all over...not just Germans. Everytime I've gone there I've always ended up fucking a couple (or few) guys in the bathroom there. Those Germans, I tell ya.

Last night Chef came over and spent the night. He's been having to do his "community service" cleaning roadsides etc for his DUI, so I picked him up in San Jose when his "shift" ended. We went and worked out, had pizza, watched "Amores Perros", then fucked like dogs and went to bed. He's a very obnoxious sleeper and takes up the whole bed, but it was still nice to have him there (even though I didn't sleep much).

Going to Disneyland

Well, that's what I felt like yesterday anyway. I put a hook-up ad online yesterday and got an email from a 19-year-old kid who said he was very curious and really wanted to have sex with a guy. I was like, "uh....yeah." as it sounded too fake to be real. But I did respond, and he sent me a picture (obviously just taken from his cell phone). Things looked interesting, so I gave him my address and sure enough, he did come over....and DAMN!!!! He was EVERYTHING he said he was! 19, VERY good looking (but not a pretty-boy), blond, light skinned - he looked like a 10-year-old blond Scott Wolfe, so I'll call him Scott. Scott was a "wigger" who though white, dressed in a hood-rat style and also called people "foo" and "G" in a white-trash accent exactly like Kevin Federline. When he came to my door, he was VERY nervous and I believed him when he said he had never done this (well, maybe he had but on very few occasions). I guided him into my bedroom, but then he chickened out and said, "Sorry dude I'm just too nervous" and then quickly headed back to my front door to leave. I followed him over and said, "Hey, this is just gonna be between us. You don't gotta be nervous. OK? I guarantee whatever we do you're gonna enjoy. And no one has to know about it." As I was talking I was rubbing my crotch through my sweats. He looked at my bulge and hesitantly started fondling me and let out a groan as he felt how big I was. He said nervously, "I'm like...um...can I suck it?" I flipped my cock out and looked down at it, then back to him and said, "Yeah. Go for it." He crouched down and started sucking me, and though I'm NOT into oral sex and he wasn't very good at it at all, it was SUCH A FUCKING TURN ON to have this "straight" white kid sucking me. He was really kind of getting agressive to the point where I was feeling uncomfortable, and I pulled him off and said, "Hey, let's go into the other room. We can get more relaxed. I don't want to do this by my front door."

After a bit more prodding, he was finally coaxed into my bedroom. I pulled off his b-ball shorts and shirt and jacket, but he kept his shoes on. He had a few blond pubes around his small dick with a cute ball sack underneath. He said, "Can you suck ME now?" I said, "I'll do something even better. Turn around." He started nervously laughing and said, "Hey, you're not gonna fuck my ass dude!" "I said, nah...wasn't gonna do that. Just turn around." DAMN! He had SUCH A SWEET ASS. When I put my mouth on it he immediately started groaning and wimpering. And when I put my tongue in him, I thought he was going to cum right there from the sound of things. But I reached under him and felt his dick, it was small and saggy. I'm pretty sure he was enjoying it, he was just too nervous. After a few minutes of tonguing his hole, he looked over at me from behind and said, "you have a condom?" I said, "Yup. You want me to put it in you?" He said, "no, I want to ride it. I don't think I can cuz I've never done it before and you're big, but just want to try. You made me pretty horny." So, I suited up, lied down on the bed and he squatted his beautiful boy-butt over my throbbing cock. And yup, he took it all the way down. But once again, he was getting too agressive and I thought he was gong to bend my cock at a painful angle, but it finally slipped out of him anyway. He hurriedly tried to get it back inside him, but I said, "Hey, you're turn to lie down now." He followed orders and lie down and let me mount him missionary. I fucked that kid for a good 20 minutes; slow at first but he let me do whatever I wanted until I finally shot my load. He never got hard at all throughout the whole thing. But after I was done he said, "Can I do you now?" I said, "Not tonite. maybe the next time" (yeah right). He looked kind of disappointed, but I said, "There's other ways to get YOU off, li'l bro." He said, "can you jerk me?" "No problem" I said, but actually...it was. It took like 45 minutes for him to cum, and my arm was WAY sore after that. Right after he came, he got a towel to wipe himself up, put his clothes on like nothing had happened and said, "You think you could buy me some beer at Safeway?" I don't know if I'll ever see him again, but this was DEFINITELY one for the books. Yes, I went to Disneyland yesterday.

Today was planned as a very low-key day around the house. But this morning I got a call from Toby asking if he could come over. Like they say, feast or famine. I said yes (I mean after all, it had already been over 7 hours since I got laid) and we were doing the bone-dance shortly thereafter. As Toby was getting ready to leave, he told me he was heading back to Indiana for good. Bummer.

Deputy Dawg 1968 - 2007 RIP

This morning I checked my account, and finally Antonio had deposited the money he owed me, so I was grateful to be able to forget about this whole episode and never have to think about him or this experience again. Then I remembered I have an errand I need to do down in San Jose next week, so I figured I'd make a call to see some old friends down there to pass the time. I called one friend of mine that I've known for 15 years (aka from "back in the day") but his cell was disconnected. So, I called his work, where I was told he had passed away. I kind of suspected as much.

I met "Deputy Dawg" when I worked at one of the worst jobs I've ever had at my life; a loan officer for Household Finance Corporation (now bought by the British bank HSBC). It was one of my first "real" jobs, and it gave me a VERY good (or bad, depending on perspective) view into corporate politics, greed, finance and back-stabbing. But while it was a horrible learning experience, I also made some very good friends, and formed a tight bond with my fellow co-workers who were suffering through it along side me. One of those friends, was a very good-looking, outgoing guy who was 2 years older than me who had just gotten out of the army and looked like a short-haired Mario Lopez. We all had nick-names for each other, and his was "Deputy Dawg" because he was the office Manager's right-hand man. Deputy Dawg was a good "drinking-buddy" type of friend, in that we would always go and party together at clubs, bars, road-trips to Mexico etc. He was a total "man's man" and though he had a girlfriend would cheat on her with any other woman that crossed his path. And on several occasions, when we were drinking, we'd share a moment of intimacy where we were one step away from "crossing over to the other side". But in retrospect, both of us were more afraid of the consequences of doing anything and potentially sacrificing our masculinity, so nothing ever happened (but damn, it sure could have).

In recent years I'd been distancing myself from those types of friends for a lot of reasons. The biggest was that I found myself only drinking around those particular friends. I did it for several reasons; to fit in, to be on their level, to dull my urge to possibly mess around with the ones I was attracted to (they don't know about my particular tendencies), and of course to escape reality. I've never really even liked alcohol, but just really enjoyed the commeraderie. So, when I stopped hitting the bars and skipping the weekend house-parties and sports parties with them, we gradually lost contact. But not completely. We always knew how to keep in touch by email here or a phone call there, even though it may be once a year if that. But the last time I saw Deputy Dawg was a year and half ago when we met at a brewery down in San Jose. When I saw him, he was still very big and buffed, but now slightly bloated and completely bald from chemo. The fact was when we had both started at HFC 15 some odd years ago, he had been released from the Army due to the fact that he had been diagnosed with lung cancer. He made a full recovery and was in remission until only about 2 years ago when it apparently came back. He told me as we met that the chemo had worked and he expected it to go into remission again. It was good to catch up with him, and we left promissing to get back together for a bigger reunion with other mutual friends. Well, one thing leads to another and life has a way of catching up with all of us. And when his cell was disconnected, I kind of knew what was coming. I wish I had made a point to get back in touch with him earlier than this week. If I had tried only a few months ago, at least I could have said good-bye.

Anyway, I'm fairly confident he's in a much better place, and he definitely knows how much our friendship meant. Even though we hadn't kept in close touch, we both knew we were friends and at any point in time we could call each other up and pick up exactly where we left off. So, Deputy Dawg, my homie, my friend, mi carnal...rest in peace. And we'll see you on the other side.