Confessions of a Bareback Flop

About a year ago a friend of mine sent me a link to a blog of a guy who got mild notorioty due to the fact that he boasted about stealth barebacking unsuspecting bottoms, tricking others to let him fuck them, and a bunch of other provocative stories. I can say as a total top, that after reading them, I think there is some truth to some, a LOT of embellishment in others and out-in-out lies in the rest. This was confirmed when due to the fact that it is an extremely small gay world out there, while I was in NYC one trip I ended up hooking up with someone who had been with him (a so-so fuck, but a nice guy). He gave me very graphic details of the "confessions" blog writer (the guy is out of shape, in his early 30's and barely has 6", as opposed to everything he writes in his internet Manhunt profile under the name "invidioso"). I even saw his online pictures from about a year back, and he hasn't changed them since, which leads me to believe they were years old even back when I saw them. He's since taken his blog down, but just a quick note to all of you out there; what comes around goes around. When you don't treat your bottoms with respect and lie to everyone, there's always an angry bottom out there who will want to expose you. So, consider this tale a warning.

I am also warning myself here, since I have been having a similar situation lately. About a week ago I met and hooked up with this one guy who I'll call Lou, since he looks and acts like Lou Diamond Phillips circa 1988. Lou is Filipino, but of the thuggish variety (buffed body, last name tatood on his back, shaved head etc). And though he had a slight accent (been here for 7 years) he was NOT a FOB or clueless, and we actually had some very long and decent conversations. To be honest, I thought the friendship connection was much stronger than a sexual one, but he started getting very passionate, and I guess the Long Ranger just needed it, so we started going at it and eventually I fucked him. Lou wasn't very good at it, but he did let me do it and I got off. Afterwards, I found out why; he was a virgin. Now, 10 + years ago I was devirginizing guys (and women) a lot, to the point where I lost track. But to the best of my knowledge, before Lou, the last dude I devirginized was the Wigger a couple years back, so I just didn't pick up on it until after it happened. And Lou went ON and ON about how good that felt at the end, and how he was sorry it took so long to get inside, and how he never thought he'd let another guy do it to him etc etc etc. I know this was not a fake/rehearsed line as the boy really had trouble at first. The point is, since that night, Lou has been really crushing on me. I have been talking to him on the phone, and he even stopped by once, but I made up an excuse for not having sex again even though he really wanted it. I'd like to be friends with him because he really seems like a nice guy, but it also feels like he is going through that cherry-popping thing and really wants a relationship with me since he feels it was "special".

I don't want to be a dick, especially to someone who doesn't deserve it. I know all about Karma, AND I don't want to lose my rep as a GRADE-A bottom-pleasing top. But at the same time I don't want to give Lou any false hope. I guess at the same time, I'm kind of pissed at myself in that other than small stupid reasons which really don't add up, I SHOULD be attracted to Lou and don't understand why I'm not.