Addiction

Last week was pretty stressful as a couple of substantial bills came for me. Add to this I have been trying to chase down my former employer to pay for expenses on my last contracting job, as well as some other bureaucratic bullshit I had to deal with. So, I was looking forward to the weekend as there was an art/cultural festival up in San Rafael (Marin is ALWAYS a place I admire and I try to take every opportunity to head up there). I met my friends there and had a BLAST. On the way back home I had to pass thru San Francisco and called a former hook-up who I spoke to online the night before, knowing I'd be rolling thru. The odd thing here is he told me we had hooked up before, but I couldn't remember (and still don't). And he apologyzed for his behavior the last time and I told him not to worry (easy to do, since I totally didn't/don't remember). When I got to his address, I thought it would all come back to me...but it didn't. He finally laughed and said, "you don't remember me, do you?" I smiled and said, "sorry man. Not trying to be a dick, but I just got back to the US and had a lot on my mind last time we were together." then I paused for effect. "...that and the chrystal meth. So, don't take it personal." Then I waited for him to laugh, but he just nodded. "I'm only joking dude." I said. And he looked at me and said, "Oh, no problem. Well, that's what my problem was the last time we were together." AWWWWKWARD. "Uh...sorry, dude. Didn't mean to make light of anything" I said, almost rambling. "No problem" he repeated. "I've been clean over 4 months now." "Congratulations!" I said, sincerely.

So, here's the thing, I NEVER hook up with tweakers, stoners or alcoholics if I know about it. Why? Because they are just on another plain and since I don't do, nor have I ever done drugs, I can't relate or connect. What's important to me (i.e. like keeping an appointment we make together) just isn't to them, as they are unaware of time and space during their addictions. Plus, I'm like a "show up and fuck" kinda guy, in that I don't think waiting around 2 hours for the dealer to come, sit through another 1/2 hour of small-talk with them, then watch them all shoot-up, snort or inhale foreign substances until they can deal with life is anything close to foreplay in my book. Anyway, this guy was very sincere and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. We had a pretty decent fuck; no complaints. Until RIGHT after I came (he didn't) and he had a wild expression on his face as I was pulling out of him and said, "Wow! That was intense. But nothing beats having sex on meth." then he started giggling. "I'm really going to have to get used to it." he continued with a tinge of saddness in his voice. While I admired his honesty, I just couldn't deal with that statement. I made and excuse about needing to head home and left. All I could do on my drive home was thank God over and over again that I don't have a disposition or tendency towards substance addiction of any kind. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Today I hit the gym and saw a semi-regular fuck-bud of mine (well, he was before I left for Europe). He's originally from Thailand, but VERY buffed, masculine and americanized (because I'm running low on creativity today, I'll call him "Thai"). He was a bit flustered since he lives on the East Bay and had to go on and on about how he WOULD have called to tell me I was in the area but only had a short time to work out then head to an appointment. I said to him with a very stern face, puffing out my chest and crossing my arms, "Well, dude. You can make it up to me by letting me do it to you in the shower when we're done here." He was seriously taken aback, but I could tell aroused at the same time. He looked around us casually to see if anyone would have heard (I already made the "sound check" before I said it and decided it would be OK). "I don't know...maybe..." he replied with a cautious smile. "Don't worry about it. Just do it." Then I leaned in and poked his pec with my finger in a very serious tone, "I mean it, I want to fuck you in the shower." This time he couldn't contain his smile and said, "OK. Give me 15 more minutes to finish up." I left a bit earlier to prepare, getting my "kit" from the locker so I could suit and lube up and put my towel on over everything (would have looked suspicious walking around with a condom hanging from my schlong in the locker room). Although I mentioned before how in the past 2 years my gym has had a little troll infestation problem, at this time in the afternoon there was hardly anyone around, so I made my way to the shower in the back and waited. Thai came (not too soon for my taste) afterwards and bent over, poking his head out of the curtain to keep watch while holding his ass cheeks open for me to fuck him from behind. It took about a minute for me to enter his hole, get a rhythm going then bust a VERY nice nut. Thai, that was GREAT : ) And just to close, here are two pictures of him from behind (not from today, obviously).