Pride

This year was the first I have actually done anything associated with Gay pride. On Friday, there was a "special" Underwear party (yes, been to several of those, but this one was part of the weekend festivities). I got there and was looking and feeling pretty suave until I got shoulder tapped by my ex; the last person in the world I was expecting (or really wanting) to see (for reasons apparent to those who know me, I'll call him "July"). July is originally from China, but talks and acts like a mixture between a frat-boy, nerd and boy-bitch; alternating between all three as necessary. He's always had a huge muscular body-builder type physique, but now while still VERY muscular, had slimmed down some and tanned a lot (point is, he was looking very good, but different than how I remembered him 4 years ago). It took me a moment to adjust my eyes and focus, then realize who he was. I said with a very congenial yet casual smile, "hey! I would have never recognized you in a million years." As July is a psychopathic fatal-attraction-style personality, I guess that was the wrong thing he wanted to hear from me, which apparently soured him. His demeanor totally changed and we then exchanged short pleasantries and as he was standing with some oddly shaped white dude, I decided to wrap it up and leave it at "nice to see you again." The thing is, he spent the rest of the night trying to make me jealous by talking to guys in front of me/around me then saunter away whenever he saw me or intentionally walk the opposite direction. Whatever. It didn't bother me other than the fact that I had hoped he would have matured within the last 4 years. Guess not.

Sunday, Sven invited me to a party at the Civic Center in SF. I'd never been in there for any reason and was surprised they allow parties inside. It was fun to hang with Sven, and since the tickets were $150 each, it's not something I would have done myself. After that, we went to a more sleazy bar which Sven assured me would be very sexually charged. Well, it was...if you like chubby, hairy bear-like men. I didn't really like that crowd too much so I left after an hour or so. When I got home, I was hit up on line by a tall skinny 27-year-old guy who I'd been trying to hook up for sometime now. I went to his place, was unimpressed with seeing him in person but decided to go through with the sex, and...bad decision. Not going into details, but it was just bad and I couldn't get off, so I left. When I got home, I saw a message from yet another kid I have been trying to get with, who agreed to come to my place. When he got here, I thought "DAMN! GOING TO DISNEYLAND TONITE!" This kid is 22, dancer's tight body, and a beautiful face (I'll call him Phoenix, cuz he looks like Joaquin). Long story short, I fucked that boy around the world, and it was GREAT watching his HUGE dick (almost as long as mine, but definitelly fatter) hard as a rock while I fucked him missionary until we both came. THAT was one for the books. I really hope to see him again.

Eating My Heart Out

I decided to go to round 2 of Game Night this week at Sven's house, even though I knew it would be awkward with Spaz (more on that later). Since Sven lives on the East Bay, I thought I'd get some errands done over there before his get together. But before I left the house I got messaged by someone I'd messed around with 9 years ago; back then he was a VERY muscular, masculine, ball-headed (bald) black guy with a VERY long dick named after a popular University institution around here, so I'll call him "Foothill". Foothill was a great fuck back then, but a total head case in that he tops from the bottom. That is, even though he's the one getting fucked (eventually) he's all about the control and mind-games and he lets you know exactly who is calling the shots. An example would be him calling me and saying how bad he needs it and to come over immediately, horny, and ready to fuck- only to show up and have him act indifferent about having sex, then take a 40-minute shower, watch part of a movie and finally after 2 hours consent to a quick fuck. The only time he would relinquish that control is when he's about to cum, as he wanted my dick to keep fucking him, so for a few seconds he'd say, "Please keep fucking me...don't pull out yet, please!" Anyway, turns out he now lives on the East Bay too, and when I told him I'd be going in that direction insisted I stop by. When I got there, I saw that time had not been as kind to him as it had to me. He was about 15lbs overweight (not obese, but not a massive bulge of muscles he had been). He was happy and grateful to see me again, but after all the catch-ups and pleasantries when I finally said, "so, dude, let me see that ass again to see if I remember it." He immediately said, "pshhhh. No way, man. I haven't gotten fucked in years. I don't do that anymore." I had to analyze that for a moment: had he seriously turned over a new leaf or was this the same old Foothill; posturing and controling? I decided it was most likely the latter and thought I'd give it one more try. "Come on dude, let me just see it" I persisted. "No way...well, what if I asked you to see your dick again?!" I took that as a challenge and just unbuttoned my jeans and let my cock flop out for him. He immediately grabbed it and silently stared at it, tugging at it slightly. I knew there was a possibility now, so I remembered how he mentioned he was sore, so I took a "subservient" stance, "Hey, do you want me to give you a backrub?" He perked up, "wow! Hell yeah! Would you do that??" He got on the bed, but I pulled off his clothes (which he let me do reluctantly) until he was ass nekked butts up on the bed. I started massaging him, then while he was enjoying it, little by little started preparing my dick (condom, lube, erection). Then as I was really working his back, started putting pressure on his hole with my cock. When he knew what was going on he said, "dude, you're not gonna fuck me." I responded casually, "it's part of the massage dude. We're not gonna actually fuck. It's just to hit the prostate to make you relax while I'm doing your back. I only have two hands, bro." Bottom line, after a bit more coaxing and massaging (which he was REALLY enjoying) I got the whole cock in. At first I didn't pump it or even move, other than my massaging movements. But after awhile, I started rocking my hips, grabbing his shoulders and letting him have it. It was so gradual he didn't have a chance. After I started pounding him prison style, I tried to flip him over and he put up a fight saying, "No, dude, THAT's gonna hurt to much!" I coaxed him over and finally fucked him missionary and could see he was really getting into it (his 9" dick was pointing north the whole time). I finally came, as he was jacking off wildly, but I felt like being a real dick and just pulled out and headed to the bathroom to wash up saying, "wow. That was great dude. Nice to see you again" totallly ignoring the fact that he was still not finished. When I came back from the bathroom, he was still jacking and I guess hoping I'd stick around, but I just put on my clothes and made small talk, then left.

Back to Sven's: I hadn't seen him since he got back from Sweden so it was good to see him. When Spaz and the gang got there, it was a bit awkward for me so I hung out in the other room with Sven's parrot (who I'm secretly having an affair with). Spaz came back there and acted very casual but friendly, then started with the sexual inuendos. I wasn't taking the bait and just nodded and smiled them off. After the games were done, I mentioned to Sven about my experience with Foothill, since it seems Foothill has been trying to hook up with Sven for some time now, but apparently Sven isn't all that interested (small world). The next day, I told my friend Tracey friend of mine who ALSO knew Foothill when he was living closer to our part of town. Tracey laughed at my description of how out-of-shape and changed Foothill looks now. He remarked, "Wow. you just can't tell how people are gonna change over the years." Then he reminded me of a certain former-child actor we both knew (let's call him "Philips"). Tracey was a friend of Phillips way back when, but I had only met him once at get-together some 13 years ago. At this particular get-together, Philips was VERY into me, and not only did his eyes follow me everywhere I went, but he asked several people about me apparently trying to get all the info he could. To be honest, back then Philips was very effeminate, scrawny and a bit awkward looking, so a) I wasn't into him and b) I could be a real dick back then (way different state of mind for too many reasons to list here). So, not only did I avoid Philips, I made an effort to let him know I was avoiding him just to get the point across that I was totally not interested. Well, the punchline is that Tracey recently went to a party in Miami and ran into Philips and took a pic of him on his i-phone (which he showed me and subsequently emailed me for your viewing pleasure). Time has been GOOD to this boy.




He has definitely been eating his wheaties. So, while Foothill is on a downwards spiral, I am definitely eating my heart out on being such a dick to Philips way back when. Karma is a bitch and we all get what we deserve in the end.

Addiction

Last week was pretty stressful as a couple of substantial bills came for me. Add to this I have been trying to chase down my former employer to pay for expenses on my last contracting job, as well as some other bureaucratic bullshit I had to deal with. So, I was looking forward to the weekend as there was an art/cultural festival up in San Rafael (Marin is ALWAYS a place I admire and I try to take every opportunity to head up there). I met my friends there and had a BLAST. On the way back home I had to pass thru San Francisco and called a former hook-up who I spoke to online the night before, knowing I'd be rolling thru. The odd thing here is he told me we had hooked up before, but I couldn't remember (and still don't). And he apologyzed for his behavior the last time and I told him not to worry (easy to do, since I totally didn't/don't remember). When I got to his address, I thought it would all come back to me...but it didn't. He finally laughed and said, "you don't remember me, do you?" I smiled and said, "sorry man. Not trying to be a dick, but I just got back to the US and had a lot on my mind last time we were together." then I paused for effect. "...that and the chrystal meth. So, don't take it personal." Then I waited for him to laugh, but he just nodded. "I'm only joking dude." I said. And he looked at me and said, "Oh, no problem. Well, that's what my problem was the last time we were together." AWWWWKWARD. "Uh...sorry, dude. Didn't mean to make light of anything" I said, almost rambling. "No problem" he repeated. "I've been clean over 4 months now." "Congratulations!" I said, sincerely.

So, here's the thing, I NEVER hook up with tweakers, stoners or alcoholics if I know about it. Why? Because they are just on another plain and since I don't do, nor have I ever done drugs, I can't relate or connect. What's important to me (i.e. like keeping an appointment we make together) just isn't to them, as they are unaware of time and space during their addictions. Plus, I'm like a "show up and fuck" kinda guy, in that I don't think waiting around 2 hours for the dealer to come, sit through another 1/2 hour of small-talk with them, then watch them all shoot-up, snort or inhale foreign substances until they can deal with life is anything close to foreplay in my book. Anyway, this guy was very sincere and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. We had a pretty decent fuck; no complaints. Until RIGHT after I came (he didn't) and he had a wild expression on his face as I was pulling out of him and said, "Wow! That was intense. But nothing beats having sex on meth." then he started giggling. "I'm really going to have to get used to it." he continued with a tinge of saddness in his voice. While I admired his honesty, I just couldn't deal with that statement. I made and excuse about needing to head home and left. All I could do on my drive home was thank God over and over again that I don't have a disposition or tendency towards substance addiction of any kind. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Today I hit the gym and saw a semi-regular fuck-bud of mine (well, he was before I left for Europe). He's originally from Thailand, but VERY buffed, masculine and americanized (because I'm running low on creativity today, I'll call him "Thai"). He was a bit flustered since he lives on the East Bay and had to go on and on about how he WOULD have called to tell me I was in the area but only had a short time to work out then head to an appointment. I said to him with a very stern face, puffing out my chest and crossing my arms, "Well, dude. You can make it up to me by letting me do it to you in the shower when we're done here." He was seriously taken aback, but I could tell aroused at the same time. He looked around us casually to see if anyone would have heard (I already made the "sound check" before I said it and decided it would be OK). "I don't know...maybe..." he replied with a cautious smile. "Don't worry about it. Just do it." Then I leaned in and poked his pec with my finger in a very serious tone, "I mean it, I want to fuck you in the shower." This time he couldn't contain his smile and said, "OK. Give me 15 more minutes to finish up." I left a bit earlier to prepare, getting my "kit" from the locker so I could suit and lube up and put my towel on over everything (would have looked suspicious walking around with a condom hanging from my schlong in the locker room). Although I mentioned before how in the past 2 years my gym has had a little troll infestation problem, at this time in the afternoon there was hardly anyone around, so I made my way to the shower in the back and waited. Thai came (not too soon for my taste) afterwards and bent over, poking his head out of the curtain to keep watch while holding his ass cheeks open for me to fuck him from behind. It took about a minute for me to enter his hole, get a rhythm going then bust a VERY nice nut. Thai, that was GREAT : ) And just to close, here are two pictures of him from behind (not from today, obviously).

Got any friends?

I'm a pretty easy-going guy. But it really pisses me off when I've hooked up with a guy once/a couple/a few times and when I invite him online to come over again he responds with something like "Got any top friends who could come over too?" Whenever I get asked that, what I'm hearing is "I'm a spoiled bitchy bottom and you aren't good enough for me anymore, so the only way I'll have sex with you again is if you provide me with another guy to make it more interesting." As far as phrases I hate to hear, "Got any friends" ranks right up there with "I'm afraid I have some bad news" and "starring Ben Aflek".

To be honest, I've done PLENTY of 3-ways, and yes, it can be HOT to "share" a bottom with another dude. Usually this occurs where there is a couple involved who invite another guy (top or bottom) into their bed. And if a bottom had another top at his place waiting, I'd be more than happy if he came to me and asked "Hey, I have a friend here who you'd really be into. Want to come over and hang with us?" Not a problem. But when bottoms put it on ME to find another guy for THEM, that's just rude and distasteful. Not only that, in my case, it's really unfeasible. Most guys who I've had sex with SAY they are versatile or "dude, I'm usually a top, but I feel like trying it out to see what it's like" to make the top feel special and like he's "going to Disneyland" that day (Kev-bo let me in on this little secret). But when approached to be a top, they will usually come up with some excuse and I know would never perform. I can count the guys I know who are truly "versatile" on one hand; Sven and DJ (and I haven't spoken to the latter in over 2 years since our falling-out and don't intend to).

We all have our fantasies. Most of mine have been filled at this point (which is why I'm totally not into porn, since nothing beats what's going on in my head). But one I have remaining is to have a line-up of bottoms with GREAT asses and nice shiney pink holes all bent over in a row on a couch, letting me fuck them one by one. But do I say to my bottoms, "Hey, got any friends you could bring over for when I get tired of fucking you?" It's one thing to drop subtle hints DURING or AFTER you've had sex, saying something like, "I think it would be really hot if..." or "I've always had a fantasy that..." As opposed to "I'll come over if you got any friends you can bring too." So, for all you bitchy bottoms out there, show some fucking class. And for all you classy bottoms, much love, respect and appreciation.

As you may have guessed, this wound is still fresh as a today online I hit up a bottom dude I hooked up with once just 2 weeks ago and he responded, "maybe. Today I'm up for getting gang-banged. GOT ANY FRIENDS?" I was thinking I should write back, "Uh, sure. Let me just lean out my bedroom window and whistle for my posse of tops who have just been sitting around waiting for my bottom-signal." Moron. Luckily, his type is a dime a dozen, and shortly afterwards I got called by a 3rd-time bottom who gladly came over for a 2-round fuck (he's one of the many SFO affiliates, so I'll call him "Flyer"). Plus I made Flyer cum TWICE without him touching himself (yup, hit TWO bulls-eyes). And all I had to do was take pictures of my cock going inside his butt-hole (yes, most of these pictures I take and post are at requests of the bottoms, not me).

Abs vs Cock

Around the onset of puberty I knew I had a larger size dick. I remember looking at myself naked from about the age of 14 and wondering how big it was gonna get. I also remember years later during one extremely agressive jack-off session lasting around 4 hours with me measuring myself every 10 minutes or so, and getting very excited when I hit the 9" mark (yes, not centimeters, so you guessed it, it was here in the US : ) But since I started having sex, then having a LOT of sex, I noticed my dick would often get more attention than me. Sometimes guys (no woman I have ever been with became like this) see my dick and all they want to do from that point forward is suck on it and play with it; to the point where I feel like saying, "Um...do you guys want to be alone?" I even had this experience recently with Trainer, where he was so rigorous in sucking me it really was all I could do to take my mind off the pain until I had to casually make him stop and move on to something else. Gradually, I tried to take the emphasis off my dick, and in so doing, prefer to start off with a semi and not get hard until I'm actually inside whoever I'm going to fuck. And I rarely get to 9" anymore (I'm still 8+ in my profiles) since it just takes too much work to get and keep an erection that size.

So, why am I saying all this? As a point of observation, I've noticed that I've been getting different attention these days. I've always tried to keep myself fit; some years better than others. I'd always thought of myself as irregular in that I was either very skinny with no muscles or I got bulky in my pecs and shoulders but as a consequence would get love handles too. It's only been in the last year that I got a 6-pack (yes, that is my picture in this profile) and have noticed that more and more guys spend less time on my dick and do things like kiss and lick my abs. I swear this is a totally new experience for me. And to be honest, it really isn't a turn on.

I personally like looking at myself in the mirror these days. Yes, I like seeing my schlong bouncing from leg to leg when I walk in the locker room. Yes, I DO like the way my abs look. But the best thing another guy can do to show his appreciation is not to slobber all over either of them. Just bend over show me your hole, and tell me I can do whatever I want with it. Then Happy Birthday to me.