Confirmation

Noooo, not THAT kind of confirmation. Lemme 'splain...

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in the universe when I say I have a very bad habbit of second-guessing my instincts, which are actually very good. And even though I know I'm 99% sure of something, just because all the facts plus my gut is telling me something, I always look for that confirmation to put the matter to rest. Here's an example: I met the first guy I ever had sex with (and who would later be my first boyfriend) when I was in college at a frat party (he was the "house master" and looked, talked and acted like Keanu Reeves). There's much more to this story, but suffice it to say after I broke up with him, we lost contact for about 12 years (this was right before the age of the internet). Since he was a spoiled rich kid from LA and always drove nice cars, nice suits, nice houses (3 at one time) and had a good job (became a VP of a well-known consulting firm) I'd just assumed he went on to greater things. While I was in Europe this last time, he found me on the internet and we emailed a few times culiminating in him saying how cool it would be to meet up again. I told him I'd be back in the US in a few months and we could definitely make plans. But he was always very evasive and sporadic in his communication, and didn't have a cell-phone as it turns out. So, I thought two things: 1. he's so wrapped up in his job that he doesn't have much free time or 2. he has severe issues with substance abuse or mental problems. The more I analyzed the situation (no cell phone and no internet "foot-print" was a big giveaway) I realized it was most likely the latter. But I guess I didn't want to believe that someone who for good or for bad influenced me and affected me at one point in my life would fall so low, so I always left a room for the shadow of a doubt (maybe I was completely wrong). Well, another long story, but the wrap-up is that I got confirmation yesterday that he is indeed a rock-bottom, couch-surfing, chrystal-meth addict; the LAST person in the world I would have ever suspected, but unfortunately once again my initial instincts were correct. And I'm bummed out because of it.

I got a few emails about the video I posted about the dude that I fucked that turned out to be in porn, doubting that I knew him. Well to all you doubters, haters and baiters, yes, I actually do. And I still have his number. And no, you cannot bait me into giving it to you just to "prove it" to you. If you are really so desperate to contact him, I can forward your contact info to him and just leave it at that if he's intersted. And just to blow your minds even further, here's yet another story involving porn, sex parties, Eurotrash and plastocene (actually there's no plastocene in this story):

Back in the early part of this decade when I was living in the UK, there was a couple named Diego and Bernie who lived North of London and had some amazing sex parties (yes, I remember what I said about there not being sex parties that were "half as good" as the ones during 1999, but I meant in the US). Diego was a flight attendant or "trolly dolly" as they call them in the UK (they are so faggy sounding over there) and in his early 40's at the time whereas his boyfriend, Bernie was the typical "old English queen"; mid-50's, effeminate, bitter and controlling. So, since he was too repugnant to actually entice young guys to have sex, he decided to do the next best thing, which was to open up his house to young guys to have sex all around him and watch. And they were VERY selective and restrictive on who would come. Yes, "British hot" is still a few notches below what is considered hot in the US, but still, they were hot, and the "bouncer" at the front door was constantly calling Bernie over when someone who had either sent a fake or very old picture tried to sneak their way in (Bernie would usually just confirm what the bouncer's opinion was and say simply "Ta" and walk back to the party). And these parties were so big that people would actually fly in from as far away as Greece to attend. I went to about 6 the entire time I was living in the UK and ALWAYS ended up fucking from 6 - 20 guys a night (note: not cumming that many times, but yeah. It was HOT).

Around 2006 they stopped doing them (I was already back in the US by then) and decided to apparently take another path: porn. Diego used to be pretty hot and buffed, but has since become quite haggard looking (you can be the judge). Yet another friend of mine in Italy has actually gone into porn as well and is apparently getting quite a following now. He sent me this link showing Diego in action (he's the darker bald guy in the second scene; Bernie is the smarmy effette voice you are hearing off-camera.



As an aside, when I saw the second scene in the video I can't tell you how many asses I fucked in that very same bedroom (minus either of the hosts, since Bernie was repugnant and Diego was...well, Spanish). This leads to my last point: I noticed on Diego's shoulder he has one of those "Bio-Hazzard" tattoos. I know in the gay community here in CA (specifically in SF) that it means one is HIV+. A quick funny story is a TOTALLY straight former roommate of mine from Switzerland for some strange reason liked that design and got one for himself a few years back. When he came to the US (SF) last year on a visit, he was SO LIVID when he found out what it meant. Ahhhh, those clueless Euros. So, I'm guessing Diego is now HIV+ and going for that niche-market of conversion-porn for people who like watching young boys get infected by older, creepier HIV+ guys. Nice. Good on 'ya, Diego. Si algun dia lees este mensaje, ya es superevidente que eres un españolín típico que no entiende ni siquiera merece nada de respeto, honor ni valor humano.

Yet another confirmation of what I'd always thought of the both of them. And I'm done.

Emails and some Q&A

Firstly, I fully realize that in the 70's, everyone who was anyone got their own variety show. In the 80's they got their own sit-com, then in the 90's their own talk-show, and in the 00's their own reality show. In between, everyone else who's...well, got a pulse has done their own porn. Since I've been on this site I've gotten a good number of emails; but three separate ones from guys asking me to do porn. I truly believe there is already enough porn out there for ANY taste, even showing out of shape guys with very small dicks who are so ugly they need to wear masks yet somehow convince themselves that this is the way they should be making a living (*cough*). So, to all the well-wishers out there and all the guys who have a nice ass and want to try out the long ranger, keep those emails coming. But the porn thing is not going to happen.

On to some fucking: Hill finally got back from his travels and came back to my place for a repeat. I told the boy from the begining that this time he needed to let me get two loads off in him, and he smiled and nodded. And that's just what I did (he came right after I did the second time). This time, as he was getting ready to leave he said, "This time was just as good as the first time. I thought it might have been a fluke." "Yup, I agree," I responded back, pulling up my sweats. I'd definitely tap that ass on a regular basis, but I know he doesn't have a regular travel schedule, so I'll just have to settle for what I can get.

OK, now back to porn. I think I've said this before, but I'm really not into porn at all. Whenever I need to get aroused, I just think back to a scene from my own boning adventures There's really only one fantasy I haven't fulfilled yet, and maybe that will come some day (it involves about 5 guys bent over on a couch and me fucking their holes down the line, then deciding which one feels best and going back to it to finish up). I can think of about 5 different guys I've fucked who have been "porn stars", meaning they actually made their living at it at one point from some known porn studio. But don't ask me their "porn names" or even what films they've been in, since I've never seen them (I can count on two hands how many porn videos I've seen). But the other day, a friend of mine sent me a link to a video and said I'd recognize one of the guys in it. I watched it for a bit and didn't recognize anyone until the second scene in, where this white, 20-something (then) guy with a decent body and crew cut began to get gang-banged bareback by mostly muscular, older obviously HIV+ guys. They were abusing this boy's anus (and it really showed) like the new meat in prison. They were doing things to this boy that I really can't even imagine, let alone write down. And the thing is, I had fucked him on 3 separate ocasions (doing the math, around 4 years after the video was filmed). My friend knew him as this guy worked with him at one point (the boy was working in SF at some non-profit while studying to be a psychologist). The video was pretty low budget and obviously catered to people wanting to watch bareback porn. It floored me seeing him in it because a) he's OK looking, not great looking and b) didn't at all seem like the type of guy who would let people do anything they wanted like that to him (for money or otherwise). When we met, he said he was HIV- but after seeing him in that video there is just NO FUCKING WAY (lesson to life here; people lie about their HIV status in case you didn't know).

Another question is if I play music when I have sex. The answer is it depends. Usually when it's a first time hook-up, then no. And if it's a date and I'm trying to set the mood to eventually get some, then jazz does the job good (note: jazz should NOT be played DURING sex! Major wood kill hearing Billy Holiday singing about black people being lynched, FYI). But when it comes down to the butt-pounding, animalistic sex-act, maybe I'm just old school, but to me there's nothing better than Freestyle for this:



One last answer, for those who have asked: yes, for the most part I do actually take the pictures on this blog, and they are who I say they are. Sometimes if they send me a headless shot from their profiles and allow me to use it, I'll put that up too. But I'm not just using random pics I've collected from the internet (I would have thought the fluffy blue blanket I roll-out for sex would have been a dead giveaway in the photos). In closing, I did NOT take this pic; but DAMN, I wish I could have been there when it was taken.