Ho V Hubbie

So, a bit o' irony: Brad (the buffed Latin dude I met last week) was getting really hot and bothered about us "dating", even though we had only hooked up the one time. I actually mulled the idea over in my head and thought, "Hmmm, I have a sex party this coming weekend, then Bull's Birthday Pool-Party the following weekend, then a "mixer" pool-party Sven invited me to the weekend after that. In other words, a LOT of opportunity to meet guys and have hot sex. Although I didn't tell him all this, I think he sensed my hesitation in our last phone call and that was that. Which leads me to my point: I think for the remainder of the summer at least, I will definitely be a Ho, and not a Husband (boyfriend). I'm just in that mode.

During the week, I saw Cuba again (hadn't seen him in months...busy boy!) and we had some really hot sex. Although I'm not a cock man, I just can't get over looking at his 9" uncut dick while I'm fucking him. I even play with it while I'm on top of him (something I rarely do...it's just that awesome). Then I got a couple hits off another Brazilian dude I've been boning which you can see here:

Then Saturday eve I ended up seeing my good pal Kev-bo who is in SF for a few days. The boy is looking good (better than last trip even) and I was very glad to hear his business is going well. I LOVE hearing good news from my friends. I sincerely cannot wrap my head around the concept of schadenfreude (leave it to the Germans to come up with a word to describe something as fucked up as that). I also FINALLY got to introduce Kev-bo to Sven, which is cool because I'd been trying to get those two to meet for about 4 years. They are definitely two guys who I knew would hit it off as they have a lot in common interest AND personality wise. And before we showed up, I told Kev-bo that Spaz would most likely be among the people at the house, but I said I wouldn't tell him WHO he was beforehand. Well, Kev-bo had no problem picking him out immediately.

Later that eve, I went to the sex-party which was nice...not great, but nice. I got a couple loads off so I can't complain. But the hosts just need a little lesson in keeping the nervous conversation to a minimum by creating the right setting. The odd thing was as I was fucking one porn guy there, I looked at the porno playing on the TV and recognized one of the guys I had fucked weeks ago at the other sex-party. It almost made me have to think to myself, "um...have I ever done porn?" And of course, the answer is no. And as I've said many times before, I'm not even remotely interested in porn. Why? Because I have an entire library in my head. Honestly, I wish MORE guys would use their own cerebral-porn more often rather than relying on watching it. And in that spirit, I will now share my top 10 hotest sex (meaning cock in hole) scenes I've ever experienced (in no particular order);

LA City College showers – fucked a sailor and latin twink
DORE Alley portable toilet – boned a young drunk blond kid butt-out chaps
My First "Ex" one hot summer - mad, passionate all-night sex under a moonlit sky
Powerhouse Bar in SF – shared a hot blond bottom in the back alley with a hot Russian guy
Turnham Green – fucked 2 blond English twinks in the bushes
Underdawg and Homie - my first 3-way; so perfect I felt depressed for a week as I feared I'd never have such a hot, awesome experience again
CXR Toilets - double-fucked a guy with the biggest dick I'd ever seen on a man, then sandwiched the 2nd guy while he fucked him
Underdawg at the gym - after he closed up the gym one night, having sex with him on the weights and equipment
Fred Meyers on Broadway in Seattle - met a HOT white muscle dude and ended up fucking him in the basement
Golds Gym Sauna in SF - too many to list

I highly encourage you, my readers to make a list of YOUR hottest moments and play them over in your head instead of playing porn next time you want to get off. See, how that goes. So, I'll wrap with an open call for travel advice; I'm going to Austin, TX and Little Rock, AR this month. Any/all words of wisdom on getting laid in those two locations would be very much appreciated.

A Bull, A Spaz, Some Spider Monkeys and Ghosts went to a party...

This last weekend was full, to say the least. Underdawg and his boyfriend came up from San Diego for a visit. Since they are VERY hospitable everytime I go down to San Diego, I really thought the least I could do would be to put them up at my place and show them around. The problem here is both of them are functioning alcoholics, so all activities had to center around them getting drunk. After picking them up from SFO, we went back to my place where they began drinking (Underdawg emailed me to make sure I had bud-light and Vodka at my place), then I took them up to the Castro where we met Sven, his boyfriend and unfortunately, Spaz for an evening of bar-hopping. This was the first time Sven had met Underdawg and his boyfriend, and he made it clear the next day how he was at a loss as to why these guys were my friends. The fact is, Underdawg and I go way back, as they say. And though you'd never know it now, he was once a Falcon Pornstar and a great (sober) "Big Brother" to me at I time when I really needed it. And they are still very real, unpretentious and hospitable "shirt of their backs" kind of people (although I was admitedly glad to put them on a train next morning so they could continue the next phase of their trip).

On to the next day, where Sven, his boyfriend and I had made plans to meet Red (who Sven has also boned...small gay world) at a house he and some friends were renting up at the Russian River. To my chagrin, Sven invited Spaz along...AGAIN. We took 2 cars from our rendezvous point in SF, and since Sven rode with me I explained to him that while I didn't find Spaz as abhorrently loathsome as maggots feasting on an open lesion, I didn't think he'd fit in to all types of social situations (basically anything not involving board games). To drive this point home, I told him how I specifically did NOT invite Underdawg and his boyfriend, since I couldn't vouche for their behavior at the places we were going, nor did I think they would mix well with those particular crowds. Sven is a very good and loyal friend, and I understand he was trying to help out his friend Spaz, who just went through a break-up, by keeping him company and occupied. But while we both agreed Sven is a "mega-mixer", I'm old school and prefer not to mix my vinegar and water friends in closed settings (bars, parks and other places you don't need an invitation are OK since it's up to someone else to throw them out if necessary).

Back to the Russian River party; when Sven and I arrived it was pretty low-key as this was also a very party-hearty crowd, so when we got there at 5pm, they were still slowly waking up and getting their second-wind so to speak. The house they rented was a mansion that they split up among 12 guys for the long weekend. I took off my shirt since this was the dress-code and, I told Red to give me a tour of the place. When we got into a room that was secluded enough, I wasted no time in pulling down his shorts (he was going commando) and massaging his pink hole. He didn't resist (I wouldn't have let him anyway) and just as I was about to bend him over for a fuck, a friend (hot 20-something guy) of his walked in on us. Now, this COULD have been one of those "bow-chicka-BOW-wow" moments, but when Red pulled up his shorts and said, "yeah, I think I'm not going to change out of my shorts just yet" I sensed an awkwardness to the situation, so I decided to play along. But this hot friend of his just kept making small conversation and apparently looked for excuses to stay in the room ("Um...have either of you seen a pair of sandals anywhere?") but FINALLY got the hint and left. I asked Red what that was about, and he said, "Oh, don't worry. He's just into whatever. If you told him directly to leave, he would have left. If you told him to get over here and suck your dick with me, he would have done that too." Fuck! I guess I was just too worried about losing my "bird in the hand" fuck with Red to see the signals. Oh well, I definitely took out my sexual frustration on Red's ass and pounded home a nice orgazm. Later that eve, everyone at the house, including one extremely obnoxiously loud, drunk chick who showed up (I distinctly thought this was going to be a sausage-fest, hold the tuna) decided to go to a local resort for awhile. I took this as my cue to exit for Bull's party. While I had a GREAT time with Sven and wished he would have come along, since he invited Spaz, I'm also grateful they all decided to stay.

Now, onto the next part of the journey; Bull's annual 4th of July party. Here's where things naturally got wild (but that was the point). When I got there, Bull was already creating a heavy haze with his inner-circle (eeesh, that really doesn't sound right). I chilled out in his bedroom with him and about 5 other guys as they smoked weed and injested a number of other alphabetical substances I just couldn't keep track of. "A" was there too; we'd been communicating via facebook, but hadn't seen each other in person since our "date" about a year ago. He told me he was up to 200lbs and lost about 15 of it but still felt overweight. When I saw him in person, I can say he is still probably 15lbs overweight, but as cute as I'd ever seen him. I tried to mask my dissapointment at watching him do drugs, and also tried to mask my persistent crush on him. But I also think I realized it would just never work between us for too many reasons to list. The really sad thing was later a couple walked in who were in their 40's (I'm thinking, don't know for sure), emaciated, shaved bald, hairless and pale bodies with obvious signs of advanced AIDS who after saying their hello's proceded to smoke crack. They sincerely reminded me of walking ghosts, and this is NOT what I want for A. But all I can really do is wish the boy well.

So, I figured that was a good time to leave the room, and after paying my respects to the host and participating in the seriously random and uninspired conversations (A is truly the odd man out in that regard as he is very intelligent, which makes it so much more of a waste) I headed out to the pool-party portion of the evening. When I arrived at the hot-tub, I noticed there were about 4 Spider-monkeys (lanky twinks strung out on whatever the fuck who were flayling and splashing around talking a mile and minute and thinking everything they said or heard was amazingly funny). I decided to hold-off until the human-to-spider-monkey ratio was more in my favor and came back 1/2 hour later after some light snacks (I hadn't eaten anything but ice-cream, coffee and beef jerky that whole day...more on that later). I noticed everyone was wearing trunks and said authoratively, "you guys are obviously unaware, but the house rules are no trunks after sun-down." One hot guy turned to me and before he could say, "Oh yeah? well whatabout-" I pulled down my trunks to let the long-ranger flop out and stepped in. Over the next few minutes, one by one the other hot-tubbers pulled off their trunks like giggly highschool kids.

I gave myself a good hour to pick out the guys I most wanted to fuck during this party, but as (un)luck would have it, the guys who I was most interested were progressively strung-out (I mean in an obnoxious chatty and jerky sense as opposed to being listless...which I can deal with) or in one case, total tops like me. I settled on a buffed black dude with a shaved head and fucked him over the sink in the bathroom (ah, that bathroom has seen quite a bit of action from me over the years). Unfortunately, the same incident that happened last time occured again; after I came and went back to the hot-tub the long-ranger was in total hibernation mode. And the SAME transexual (only I could have sworn it was a she-to-he; turns out it is a he to she, which definitely makes more sense) jumped in the hot-tub too, and started making the most cringe-worthy comments, including an awkward pass at me ("tonite would be extra special if someone would just take me. I'd prefer it were someone who wasn't drunk or on drugs..." meaning me, since I was the only one who fit this particular bill at that moment). So, my extra hard workout from the morning, my lack of food, the audio-wood-kill, coupled with the fact that I just finished boning were all factors in my inability to regain a stiffy. It made me wonder if skipping food for a couple of days and having a ripped body is worth it if you can't get an erection. But as I listened to conversations, pretty much everyone there who was getting any action was saying how they were on viagra/levitra/cialis (heated conversations ensued on which was best). So, although I swear to you, my good readers, that to date I have NEVER taken any such substance, I may consider it for the next party, just to level the playing field so to speak. Just sezzin'...

The rest of the weekend was definitely low-key. The occasional boning (averaging 2 a day from my regular harem) and home-maintenance/errands etc. No pictures to be had this post, but...damn! The ones from my last post should be good enough to last for a bit : )

When in Orlando, be sure to go to Disneyworld.

Cuz I sure did, in the metaphorical sense that is. You see, it all started Saturday eve
[Insert Flash-back sequence here]
I got to Orlando where coincidentally a fuck-bud of mine was also visiting on business. I told him he should give up his hotel room since he was paying for it out of pocket for an extra night and just bunk with me at my hotel. He was grateful, which of course meant the Long Ranger was booked for the first night. The only problem was the next morning my fuck-bud needed to be at the airport for an early flight. And being a gentleman I said I'd take him, which made me groggy and sleep-deprived for most of the day Sunday.

By the afternoon, I realized by the high quantities of pasty-white teenage girls in halter-tops (and equally annoying amount of inbred looking scrawny teenage boys in baggy shorts and oversized T-shirts) that this was actually Spring Break going on. Lucky me. So, I decided to get online and find some sexual escapades to get me out of the hotel. Pretty quickly, a blond-twink hit me up asking if I was into 3-ways. "Uh...YEAH!" He mentioned he was there with a "friend" who was inexperienced at bottoming, but he wanted to try it out with someone with a large dick. OK, my first thought was this was a classic bait-and-switch, and this "friend" was going to be a 50-year-old bear named "Bubba" with a comb-over. But blond-twink assured me his friend was 20 years old and good looking, so I thought I'd take a chance and head over to what blond-twink described as his "luxury appartment" (which in Orlando apparently means it comes indoor plumbing).

When I got there, blond-twink answered the door and looked exactly like his pic; blond, lanky/toned, cute kid. He let me in and I followed him to the bedroom where an even younger-looking brunette-twink was lying there on the bed in a T-Shirt and baggy shorts (the national dress) watching TV. He didn't even look up or even make eye contact with me, which gave me a suspicion that something might not be right. So, strategically I decided to get blond-twink started, and began to rub my crotch in front of him, then flipped my dick out of my sweats. He went for it and began sucking me. Slowly I moved us over towards the bed until my cock was right in front of brunette-twink. Blond-twink looked over at him and took my dick out of his mouth to say, "you want some of this?" Brunette-twink smiled and burried his head in the pillow like a shy kid. OK, NOW I got it; this was for real. While blond-twink sucked me, I started I started giving brunette-twink a back-rub which he seemed to really enjoy. Eventually I pulled off his shirt (blond-twink's shirt too, as I didn't want to show favorites). I pulled blond-twink on the bed, pulled down his pants (he had a BEAUTIFUL ass) and putt him butts-up doggie style so I could tongue his hole. He was moaning a lot, and I was hoping brunette-twink would take the bait. I pulled down his shorts too, with no struggle, put him in the same position and burried my face in his cheeks. Yup, he liked it. Then for posterity, I took these pics:

Ain't they cuter then a June-bug in May? And yes, I realize my phone's camera sucks from being dropped one too many times.

What I REALLY wanted to do was fuck them both, so I suited up and started with blond-twink; just got behind him and popped my boner into his hole. I was able to slide the whole thing in and he took it like a champ; beore long I was riding, pumping, and thrusting inside him at will. I started to massage brunette-twink's hole and getting my thumb about half-way in, then in one move pulled out of blond-twink and pushed my cock inside brunette-twink. He didn't resist, but started to whine. Just then Blond-twink grabbed his face and planted a huge long kiss on him. I slowly inched the long-ranger in, then started rocking my hips. After a few minutes I was able to get some long deep strokes off.

Just as I was getting used to brunette-twinks really tight hole, blond-twink reached around to hold his ass cheeks open. Now how could I refuse?? I slipped out of brunette-twink and into blond-twink. After I was back inside him, I realized I liked his ass better; his hole fit my cock like a glove and had more glutes to bounce off. I took the opportunity to start butt-slamming him, which prompted him to start jacking his 4" dick off. Soon we were both cumming pretty loudly and I looked over to see brunette-twink was jacking his dick off and came on blond-twink's legs.

Afterwards, it turns out blond-twink was a former (?) porn-dude from "bad-puppy" (whatever that is...I'm not into porn) and was giving brunette-twink some pointers as he was curious about possibly doing it too. All in all, good times. Very hot. But definitely good to be back home. Tomorrow I head to San Diego for a job interview I'm not even remotely considering (but hey, free trip to San Diego). While there I'll take an extra day and stay with Underdawg. Should be fun.

So Cal/ So-So

Back at home from my trip to LA and SD. The highlights/lowlights are this: I ended up meeting with the my crackhead ex's ex (let's call him O.L. for short, to make the story clear) in Silverlake, LA where the intervention for my ex was supposed to take place. It turned out that the night before I arrived, my ex had stolen about $200 from O.L., which meant there was no way he would be showing his face back at his appartment anytime soon; ergo, no intervention. It was interesting to actually meet O.L., since I had always known bits and pieces about him; he was a techie who made millions in the dot-com boom, had worked his way through college as an underwear model and was an "A-Gay" in San Francisco. And although I had seen pictures of him from as recently as 3 years ago, we never actually met. So, when I met him on Friday, I honestly couldn't have ever imagined this was the same guy. He was dressed in blue sweats, about 100lbs overweight, and thus reminded me of an Oompa-Loompa from Willy Wonka. NOTE: I'm NOT making fun of people who are overweight and I am NOT a hater. I'm just saying this is what jumped out at me, most likely because he had never given me any notice that he was in this current state, so I assumed he'd look like his "latest" pictures.

O.L. himself was not doing well at all; he was recently released from the hospital for alcohol poisoning. Apparently, through a series of bad mistakes and judgement he lost his fortune, house, social life and most notably, his looks. When he talked, his eyes shifted nervously and he shook constantly (maybe from alcohol withdrawl, or maybe he was also very nervous to meet me in person). I bought him dinner and he told me all about what had happened to my ex and why the intervention had failed etc. Then he went inot his own details that I just mentioned. At first I felt extremely sorry for him, but the more he talked, the more I could sense he was a really shallow and self-centered person. Only now, lacking wealth, prestige and looks, noone really gave a fuck. He kept bemoaning his situation talking about, "how low I've sunk" over and over, specifically about where he lived in Silverlake and what a "shit-hole" it was. Well, the fact is I used to live 2 blocks from his place when I came back to the US in the mid-90's (Lucile Ave). Silverlake/Echo Park hasn't changed at all. And I can thank God that I no longer live there. I'm sorry for O.L., but all I can hope for is that this is some cosmic lesson in humility that he needs to learn and overcome in order to move on to the next stage of his life. As for my ex, it is now evident to me that he is a lost cause, and I also thank God that he never got an opportunity to take me down with him.

Phase 2 of my trip was much better. Back in the mid-90's as a lad just getting my bearings in life, I met a guy who I'll call "Underdawg" at the gym. He was a trainer at 24-hour (before I started going to Golds), and was pretty much the closest to physical perfection I had ever seen in my life. He was half-Italian half Cherokee, 6', very muscular but not extreme or out of proportion, and had an 8 1/2" VERY thick cock. Underdawg took an interest in me and we ended up having sex a lot. But at some point I realized he was much too much of a partier and ne'er-do-well to ever be anything serious, even though he was about 10 years older than me. Underdawg eventually moved down to San Diego where he started doing porn and dancing at clubs and private parties for drunken closetted sailors and marines (yup, better believe it...even been to one). But now he's a home-maker with a boyfriend, a huge dog (German Shepherd), a cockateel and a nice quiet house south of San Diego near the beach. He still looks good in his mid-40's, and while he is "legit" in the sense that he works at a gym again, he still has a very party-like atmosphere and drinks a LOT. The first day I got to his place, we went out sight-seeing, then to a dinner party at another friend's house which lasted for 8 hours (it took over an hour for him to actually LEAVE the party from the point where he first said to the hosts, "OK, we'd better get going then").

I don't know what it is, but other people's animals usually "go for" me, and to Underdawg's amazement, their faithful dog slept downstairs next to my couch the entire night (I notice family cats tend to do that too). And I'm no Dr Doolittle, but that cockateel was WAY cool and would sing everytime it saw me until I took it out of its cage. I had that bird on my shoulder pretty much the whole time I was there, to the point Underdawg and his boyfriend joked that they'd need to check my duffle-bag as I was leaving to make sure I didn't sneak the bird out with me. That same day, I also finally met Underdawg's 20-year-old gay nephew who had just moved out from Florida to look for work in San Diego. This is one of the nicest kids I've met in a long time. He's sincere, interesting and you can tell he doesn't have a malicious bone in his body. Unfortunately, at 6' he's also about 150lbs overweight and I can tell he also has issues with low self-esteem. We hit it off immediately, and by the night time because of everyone talking about the severe cold (weird for San Diego) he started offering to share his bed rather than have me sleep on the downstairs couch again. At first I made excuses like keeping him up all night snoring (but seriously, I never snore) and such. But he'd counter saying things like, "that's OK. I'm used to loud noises. I'll be fine". Finally, Underdawg saw my situation and although extremely drunk, made it clear to his nephew that he didn't want ME sleeping in the upstairs bed with him (thank you, Underdawg).

Here's the thing; Underdawg's nephew is a really great kid. He has a very nice face (he looks like a dark-haired version of Will Wikle from "Another Gay Sequel"). But for his own health AND self-esteem, he needs to get himself in shape. I HATE the thought of this 20-year-old kid missing out on the prime of his youth, or potentially being victimized by someone because of his low self-esteem. I had a long talk with Underdawg about this the following morning and he assured me he was trying to get his nephew on a diet and set up with a colleague of his at the gym to get a program set out. I would consider it a blessing if the next time I went down there, I was met by a buffed, dark-haired younger Will Wikle that made me salivate, so he could tell me confidently, "Hey, Suave, you had your chance".

So, that's pretty much my trip; ups and downs. It's just as cold and rainy now back at home as it was in San Diego, so this will be a gloomy week meteorogically speaking. But it's good to be home.