Back?

Thank you for the emails of concern, and yes, I'm finally back. And I'm begining this post with the intention of keeping it brief, since I'm pretty drained (only partially in a good way). I am physically back from Europe, but the travel itself was excrutiatingly tedious (4 days of snow delays at Heathrow and Gatwick with long hours of waiting in between). My first fuck of the New Year occurred on my way back through London; since I had to spend the night, I made a side-trip to Clapham Common. As I was walking around, I stumbled upon a couple of guys stroking each other. I kept my distance, but was motioned to come over and join, so I did. Although it was dark, I could see up close guys were hot and flipped out my dick, which was rock hard from weeks of no sex of ANY sort. One guy knelt and started sucking me and the other dude back and forth. This was OK until some obese, ugly Indian/Paki walked up and kept crowding us. No matter how much we all motioned and told him to "shove off", he was undaunted and kept trying to press against us until pretty much everyone simultaneously zipped up and left in disgust. As I walked away, a tall, hot 20-something guy with blond curly hair sprinted past me. He looked back and I gave my crotch a rub, which made him stop in his path. I walked towards him and and he looked around and said, "I'm really rushed." I reached around and shoved my hand down his pants to feel his butt-hole and said, "Then we'll have to make this quick." He moaned, and I took this as a signal and undid his jeans and pulled them down to reveal his bubble-butt.

I pulled my dick out again, suited up with the profo in my pocket and put some spit on my dick and positioned it at his hole; he bent over in compliance. As he did so, I smelled the ever familiar smell of cum; so I rubbed his hole again and put my finger to my face to smell it-- yup, he'd just been fucked raw. I didn't mind the sloppy seconds since I was wearing the profo and I REALLY just needed to get off. I shoved the long ranger inside him (not difficult, since someone else had loosened him up) and started pumping, basically just using his hole. I did ask him, "you like it mate? You feeling my cock up your bum? Ready for me to pound my load out?" and in probably less than 30 seconds I was done, spewing an eye-popping orgasm.

When I got back to the US last week, I had received yet another email from my ex stating how he really was sorry for anything he had put me through last year when I tried to come down to see him for the intervention. He stated the death (overdose) of his boyfriend put him in a mindset that this year he had to change. I told him, if he was serious, I'd put him on a bus so we could spend a weekend assessing the situation in "neutral" territory (i.e. away from enablers or any other bad influences...save yours truly). To my surprise, he agreed and Friday eve at the San Jose train station, after 15 years, I met the first guy I'd ever had sex with, fell in love with, planned a life with, become infuriated with, and ultimately broken up with.

In the 48 hours we spent together, it went from awkward, to desperate, to familiar, to sad, to nostalgic and a host of other peak/valley emotions in between. The first night, he was still coming off of crystal meth, which gave him a very mellow and almost disturbing demeanor. We slept in the same bed and even ended up doing some mild, heavy-petting and making out, although he was extremely awkward and self-conscious of his physique (which I personally liked) as he used to be a very buffed version of Keanu Reeves and now in his mid-40's had put on some extra pounds. He still looked very good, with the exception of his ass, which had turned extremely saggy (and he had a very obvious meth-dick and balls which had shriveled due to steroid use). He eventually fell asleep, and I spent the entire night lying next to him, awake, listening to him breathe, snore, sleep-talk etc. He must have slept for over 12 hours, and the next day his old personality finally started appearing slowly but surely.

I think this post has gotten a bit self-indulgent, so I'll wrap it up saying, by the time he left, we had shared some very emotional moments (good and bad) but both hopefully came to some foregiveness/acceptance over the damage caused between us. I'm still in awe at the whole event; it was like getting a visit from your favorite movie star, comic book hero and best childhood friend, and at the same time fearing this person couldn't have cared less about you. I have absolutely no idea if this was a turning point for him, or if I will ever see him/hear from him again. I AM hoping the best for him, while at the same time hoping lady catharsis will pay me a visit sometime very soon.