Sometimes, it's not so great...

I know I talk about my cock a lot on this blog. And truth be told, I wouldn't trade the long ranger in for any other model and am EXTREMELY grateful for the package I got on my birthday. But here's the downside: I have to say it's not always easy having a larger size dick. Here are two examples that happened just this week. So, always remember: the grass is always greener.

First, a few months back I met up with a VERY hot guy I ended up fucking (and blogging about). Had an awesome time with him and I thought we really hit it off and was expecting a repeat but never heard back from him. I finally caught him online the other day and the exchange went like this:

ME: wassup? U up for another fuck tonite?

sfXXX: For your fucks...I need to mentally prepare...I don't know if there is enough time left for tonight..:)

ME: heh heh. you really don't need to overthink it : )

sfXXX: No just take the pain as it comes...Have you ever shoved a baseball bat up your ass...Over and over again? Try it and then tell me "don''t over think it." BUT THINKING ABOUT IT IS MAKING ME HOT.

ME: heh heh. anytime you want me to hit that spot just let me know

sfXXX: I'm tempted...

And that was it. Didn't happen. Doubtful it will again. If it does, great. Were my dick smaller, this would have been a non-issue. But in this example, having a larger dick effectively prevented me from being a steady fuck-bud of someone I was really attracted to. On to my next example. Almost a year ago I fucked this one guy who was a buffed former marine, very hot, and I have to admit, a very good fuck. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a major flake (and I think an alcoholic) so that was that. After he flaked I had to cut him off. Then, a few weeks ago...

FMRXXXX: Hey Suave Senor. I been thinking about you a lot lately. You been keeping your nose clean? LOL. Seriously, want me to come over? I'm free all evening. Would be hot to see you again.

ME: nah

FMRXXXX: Whatever retard. You think your hot but your really hella ugly. The only thing you got going for you is that dick. That's the only reason I wanted to go over anyway. Loser. Fuck you

OK, seriously, I know I'm hot to a lot of guys so I don't need self-validation. But his comment literally hit below the belt. And to drive the point home, this prick messaged me just today:

FMRXXXX: I miss your dick

The irony here is when I checked his pictures, he changed them (rightfully so) since in the year since we met, he has balooned from being a rock-solid muscle-man to a very chubby alkie with bitch-tits. You be the judge:

Now, here's where things get sadistic: "Haley", the kid I hooked up with a few months back has now come back into the picture now that he has sprouted pubes so to speak. Since I've come back from my trip, we hooked up twice and he's really been hinting to me that he wants to share a bottom with me since I won't bottom for him. Haley's really into this whole big brother thing with me and will do pretty much anything or anyone I tell him. He just wants to WATCH me fuck someone and then fuck them afterwards like a good pupil. I was actually thinking I could invite this drunk loser over to share with Haley and shred every last verneer of dignity he has. How? By just using his ass and mouth like a CPR dummy with no thought to his pleasure or even presence. I'd be talking to Haley the whole time and saying things like, "When the ass is flabby like this, you just have to spread the cheeks apart and move this way" or "see, doggie is best so you don't have to see his face and you can just think of whoever you want" and maybe right when we're finished say to Haley, "sorry for this, li'l bro. He was all I could get on short notice. Next time I promise we'll find someone good enough to do in the daylight." Yeah, I know some guys out there are probably cumming in their pants at the thought of being abused like this. But the guy in question is a former Marine and used to being treated like royalty, so that's the point here. We'll see if I decide to go this route.

So, to recap, the downside of having a large dick is you will hear "I'm totally in love with that cock", "that cock feels awesome", and "I could have that cock in my all night" WAY more than you'll ever hear "I'm totally in love with you", "you are awesome", and "I could be around you all night". Aaaaand, you can't get underwear that fits for under $30 (and you can't wear boxers with dress-pants). And you have to hold your dick when you sit on the toilet so it doesn't get wet (I thought everyone did this until just a few years ago) and you can't wear a jock-strap without getting major blue-balls. And you have to hold yourself when you sit down when nekked so you don't accidentally sit on it (not fun). Eh, whatever.

Lastly, I've been seeing the 19-year-old big-dicked kid as well. He's really cool, but definitely young. Also, he's a great fuck and really enjoys it (stays hard throughout), but addicted to porn and so he never cums while being fucked (he can only cum while sitting in front of the computer jacking off). I was thinking of taking him to Bull's 4th of July party next weekend, but thought better of it since a) I'll be wanting to bone down with any number of unsuspecting prey there and b) it's not very savory, as there are a lot of guys doing drugs and I'd rather not expose this kid to that. With that, it's off to another nightly battle against my jet-lag.

The Politics of Cruising

London used to be for me the sexiest city on earth. Not to say the people are sexy; just that it is probably easier to find sex there than anywhere else I've been (and I've been around the block AND back). I think it is the product of 200+ years of sexual repression. There are two main areas for sex: 1) the public restroom. They are everywhere, and before the internet were the main source for guys hooking up. This is true in many countries, but the Brits took this to an artform. A case in point is the Marble Arch tube, which for some 60 years was the premier/most traficked spot for gay toilet sex. When I moved to London in 2001 I shortly discovered this spot, and was hooked. The people who designed this place must have been all gay; it has around 20 urinals with no spaces between them lining 3 walls (some actually facing each other). On the other side there are 20 closet-style stalls with full-length doors where you can take the guy you've been cruising at the urinals to finish up in private. Couldn't be gayer if it had taffeta toilet-paper. I can't tell you (or remember) how many guys I fucked there. But sometime around 2003 the London City council finally said "enough!" and de-gayed it by closing off all but 6 or so urinals and 3 stalls; cutting the doors in half so you can see 3 feet above and below them, which means there are no shenanigans to be had. And to add insult to injury, the same thing has been happening even in private toilets, such as at my formerly favorite London bar: CX Station. Their bathrooms were legendary (only to be outdone by Briefs, also gone). Truly the end of a golden shower/age.

But the good part is, 2) the outdoor cruising. London is still #1 when it comes to being able to hook-up pretty much anywhere there is a wooded park or forrest. Sometimes the city gets wise and starts cutting down all the shrubbery that pile up in condoms (this happened near where I lived; I actually had a major cruising area walking distance from my house....*sigh*). But you can't fight nature, and as soon as the bushes are back, so is the action. The two major areas are North and South; Hampsted Heath and Clapham Common. The first night I got in, I went to Clapham Common and ended up fucking 4 guys in this order; a hot French Twink (came in him), a buffed 30-something Irish guy, a 20-something sporty Brazilian guy, and 1 tall scruffy 20-something English guy with an enormous dick (had to be 9", came in him too). The first and last experience were 3-ways and WAY hot. 90% of the guys there were fuckable with very few trolls. I was very impressed.

For me there are only 2 problems with outdoor sex: 1) you can really only fuck one way (from behind) and 2) there is a potential for issues during clean-up, so you have to come VERY prepared. Because of this, I wanted to mix it up, so to speak, and the second night right after the England v US game, I ended up hooking up with a Portuguese guy who lived at Earl's Court (used to be the gay area, now it's pretty mixed). He was buffed, late-20's, a GREAT fuck and for a Portagee had a nice smooth ass to fuck. The only problem was he assured me he could go two rounds, and of course couldn't. Eh, I left him a little surprise anyway, so not a total loss.

On my way back home, I went through London again so I thought I'd hit Hampstead Heath. Let me say this: on a good night (hot, summer) it's what I imagine a circuit party to be. Guys are all around there in regular clothes, shirtless or even wearing lycra shorts with their asses cut out. This time there were still a few hot guys there, but it was spotty. I ended up fucking a 30-something Dutch guy (took a couple pictures this time).

Right after I was done fucking the Dutch guy, I barely pulled the condom off when this English Luke Perry looking guy (not a fan) comes walking up and kneels down to suck my dick. Usually I don't really respond well to such agressive cocksuckers, but this time I thought, "Eh...it'll save me the effort of wiping up my dick" so I let him go for it. While "Luke" was sucking me, I thought if I got hard again I'd probably fuck him too. So, after the Long Ranger got soft, then hard again in Luke's mouth, I thought this could happen. I pulled Luke up off my dick, turned him around and pulled his pants down. His ass was not that muscular, and when I reached for his hole, I felt a very, shall we say "abused" anus, which I knew would make for a very bad fuck. So, I gave his ass a pat and said, "another time" then buttoned up and left for the night. So, my recommendation for anyone interested is definitely hit up Clapham Common; less known, more variety and quality.

So, lastly, a quick story on another part of my trip. I was in Italy at a villa for a week staying with 3 other families. It was huge, so every night we entertained friends and family. The first night there were a lot of kids, especially an 11-year-old friend of the family who I love to death. He's pudgy but has a face like a very young Peter Deluise (rememer him?) with piercing blue eyes. I always try and give him compliments and pump up his ego to let him know he is capable of anything and increase his confidence. Anyway, as it was EXTREMELY hot this year, most of the kids and me ended up playing soccer once it got dark, and all of us guys had our shirts off. At some point, the game turned into a massive dog-pile with everyone trying to "attack" me, and I would thwart all the advances by picking up any assailant and bodyslamming them in slow motion to the ground. At one point, this totally AWESOME looking 13-year-old kid (think Scott Baio circa 1982) charged at me, and I picked him up in a fireman's carry over my shoulder. At that point, he popped a boner so strong I thought it would bore a hole in my back. But I just finished the "flip" and he landed on his feet, then flipped on his hands and took a few steps to show off. And the thing is he basically followed me around the rest of the trip, inventing excuses to come back over and hang out. It was totally obvious he had a boy-crush on me, which I found very cute. Before I left, he made me promise to "friend" him on "fessy-bookeh".

So, why am I telling this? Just that I found it very cute. It's not the first time I've been the subject of a boy-crush. But I have never, nor would I ever act on it. There's just something about that age that makes my non-sexual and dare I say Paternal instinct kick in. But I can definitely say he's gonna break a lot of hearts.

Changing the Harem

Over the weekend I ended up meeting a very cool 19-year-old kid; black, 6' tall, basketballer's build. He didn't put his dick size in his profile online, which meant he was most likely hung like a horse, since he's a bottom (big-dicked bottoms seldom put their dicksize there cuz they want tops, not size queens hitting them up). And yeah, he was swinging about 9". It wasn't long until we were fucking like dogs; took the boy around the world. Turns out this is one really nice kid. He was really into me and wants to start dating. I don't know how much we have in common, but I'm definitely into seeing him more often, especially since he lives just up the road from me.

I've also been seeing the kid I met last week (the gay boy who looks like a much younger Mario Lopez). He's been averaging 2 fucks a week and REALLY getting good at it. I especially like how he keeps complimenting me over and over after we're done, saying things like, "you really know what you're doing" and "you are totally a grade-A top." I actually took him out to lunch earlier this week as we both coincidentally work and live in the same cities. But he is a TOTAL gay boy and it's not that I feel uncomfortable around him in public, but...I just feel uncomfortable around him in public is all.

On the minus side, I had to weed-out a couple bottoms from my "harem" as well. I thought about it, and decided not to bore everyone with the details. Suffice it to say, my "no-flake" rule is still in strict force. Since I'm heading to Europe this week, I'm gonna have to keep this post pretty short. I'll wrap giving a quick shout-out to "Breeding Jock". Keep your head up, dude. Also to Sven; I hope you get everything you need on your trip accomplished. Lastly to Kev-Bo; I'm pulling for you. You are totally worth it, so go for it!

Memorial Day Mounting and ABCD part 3

Memorial Day weekend left my balls empty and dry. The Hot Gay Nerd came over just before the start of the weekend and we did the bone dance 3 times (yes, I got greedy again, but everytime I caught a look at his hole, I just couldn't help myself). The bad part here is it turns out he is bi-polar (I knew something was up as he was on Paxil the first time we met, but he admitted it to me this time). Without going into too much detail, I decided not to go to the Russian River with him, and this will be the last time I see him. Nice ass, but my drama allergy won't allow further contact.

On to ABCD (another big cock debate); I mentioned before that I have NEVER seen a hung Asian, if we are going to assume average is 6" give or take. Yes, I've seen many average sized Asians, but never-- repeat NEVER a hung Asian. Now, the popular myth is that "black guys are HUNG!" Well, as a guy whose been inside more black dudes than cycle-cell, I can give this observation; I would say HALF the black guys I have been with are hung (8" +), and the other half are average. Only a very small percentage I have ever been with (two to be exact) were what I would consider small/below average. Now, I have definitely SEEN some black guys with small dicks at the gym, and they are usually very fat. In fact, my theory is that ANYONE who is obese is going to have a small dick (I think it has something to do with blood circulation or some other physical reality, but I have NEVER seen anyone obese with a large dick). So, what's this got to do with anything? Well, nothing. Except...

The day after my shenanigans with the Hot Gay Nerd, I went to the gym for a good workout, then hit the steam room where a very buffed really good looking black guy was sitting there with a towel. I'm pretty much the Zen-master of cruising and can read/put out all the signs without overstepping the line. One of the "lines" is you don't jack off outright unless the other guy is at least touching his own package. For the longest time this guy was fondling himself under his towel, but I didn't know if it was just to rub the sweat from his balls or if he wanted to have a tug. FINALLY, I took a chance and slung my schlong outside my towel and started stroking. He watched and finally started doing the same--under his towel. We were sitting next to each other, so I motioned for him to suck me, and after a moment of hesitation, he leaned over to suck me. Once his mouth was on the Long Ranger, I pulled at his towel and found out what he was hiding: he had about 3 inches (he's the 2nd guy out of the 2 small black guys I mentioned). Not like I cared, cuz I'm all about the hole. But when I went to play with his ass and maybe get a finger in his hole, he moved my hand away...and that was that. No reason for me to stick around, so I left.

You might think I'm making this up or playing on a theme, but this is just my reality: the next day I had a BBQ to attend as well as a commitment to meet up with a half-black/half-filipino guy I had been talking to online for a week. The BBQ was awesome and I saw friends there I hadn't seen in a year. But like a gentleman, I left at the agreed upon time and made it to my house to meet the guy like I said I would; he was buffed, my height and looked like Tiger Woods (could have been his brother). His demeanor was slightly thuggish, but definitely shy. We didn't have much conversation, so I was really pushing to get him into the bedroom, and finally did. There, he got giggly almost everytime I put my hands on him and kept telling me to "slow down". After about 5 minutes of heavy-petting I was getting anxious, so I took my dick out and he grabbed it and said, "Man, that's BIG." I had to push his head into my crotch twice to get him to finally put it in his mouth; which he did between giggles. Now I was getting pretty annoyed and almost forcefully took his clothes off. Once again, nice body, incredible ass, and average 6" dick. Then I tried to turn him around and he fought back giggling and asked, "Hey, what are you doing?" I said, "just relax dude." And he responded, "Hey, I don't think I can do this man. You're hot, but you're dick is way too big. I could never handle that. Not with someone I just met." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're done. I just backed away, put my clothes on and walked out of the room. He followed (dressed) shortly afterwards and asked if I would want to go out and "maybe date before we got into it". Not gonna happen.

Luckily, I got a call later that evening from one of my regulars. So, I was able to get my rocks off a couple more times. And the next day, that was the best fuck of the long weekend: 21-year-old Latin kid with a face like a young Mario Lopez. The only things was, he was a total gay boy, AND he showed up buzzed from wine-coolers. But his body and ass were SO FUCKABLE. I got off three rounds in him too, which was just awesome.



He lives walking distance from my house so chances are I'll make him a regular. Even though he started asking a lot of personal questions etc (hinting he wanted to date) he's way too much of a gay boy; not the kind of guy you'd take to a hockey game. But the odd thing was even though I came three times with him, I felt fine the next day (morning wood and everything). So, maybe that "rule of three" has nothing to do with sex drive, and is just a consequence of it. I'd REALLY like to understand the magic formula. Until then, I guess I'll just keep working at it. Meanwhile, I'm planning my trip back to Europe (leaving the 2nd week of June). I'll be in London for a couple days coming and going, and it will be fun to hook-up with one of my favorite fuck buds who lives over there. So, enjoy the shortened week!