Deep inside my head

Here's a weird story that I need to start out by saying I'm seriously NOT an obsessive type person. About 6 years ago now (DAYUM! time is going by) I worked with a guy that I thought was totally cool to hang around; tall, masculine, dark-hair/goatee, laid-back and sligthly techie-geeky (like a MUCH better looking David Arquette)...I'll call him "Loozer". He'd flirt with me from time to time, but I'm a major flirt with both men and women around the office, so I just took it in stride. Even though I have pretty good gaydar, I thought in his case that was just wishful thinking. One Saturday morning I was online on a site I no longer frequent and got messaged by someone I had been talking to for literally years, but we never hooked up. This time he was very serious about it, and gave me his phone so I could get directions. When I called him, there was something about his voice that was familiar, and just then it dawned on me that it was indeed Loozer. He didn't know it was me, and I panicked and said it's not going to work and hung up.

The next week at work I approached him a few times and asked if he wanted to grab dinner and some beers and we set plans for later that week. Long story short, we had what was to me the perfect evening; dinner, cool hang-out conversation, back to my place for some weird animation videos (we were both into that), then as he was leaving, we had a few long moments by my front door, until finally I grabbed him and planted a LONG kiss on his lips. Then I looked deeply into his eyes and said, "Just think about it, man." His eyes were wide open then he snickered and said, "straaaaaaaaange" and shook his head and walked away. Thus began a 1-year long brain-fuck which actually and admittedly became an obsession on my part. Long story short, I never got anywhere with him and it turned out the reason was because he was only into guys when he was high on drugs and alcohol (which finally got him fired). In other words, whatever I thought might have been with this guy was all in my head.

Why am I mentioning this? This evening I was at the gym doing free-weights/curls and listening to some music during my workout. Unfortunately, my mind was wondering and it suddenly dawned on me that I was begining to do some steps in a very "ethnic" dance because I was so into the music playing in my earbuds. I caught myself and took a quick, casual glance around to see if anyone was paying attention or saw me. And there was the Greek kid with a huge smile on his face. He walked over and greeted me, and I made small talk, telling him I was leaving for Orlando tomorrow morning. Long story short, I ended up walking him to the car-garage and fucking him right in the stairwell on the way down. Neither of us took our clothes off: just his sweats pulled down past his ass and my cock sticking out of my gym-shorts pounding it from behind.

If there is a moral here (and I'm not convinced there is, since this post may just be a random stream of consciousness) I guess it's that I need to recognize when I'm too deep inside my head. Whether that's overthinking situations in life or just disconnecting to people around me. Why? So that I don't miss any opportunities, or obsess over opportunities I perceive I may have missed. Anyway, Hill is coming over in a few to spend the night then take me to the airport tomorrow morning. He'll be good for another fuck, so gotta save up my energy before bed-time.

And now, for no particular reason, here is a video which sums up why I like the state of New Jersey: