On the Road Again

One of my LEAST favorite things to do in life is wake up early. When I know I need to wake up early for an important event, I end up sleepless all night until about an hour before I'm supposed to wake up, which is probably what's going to happen tonite. I have a job interview in Chicago for some mediocre but relatively well-paying position. If I get the job, I'll be on the road doing projects around the country, but for all intents and purposes working from my "home office", which is cool. I'm kind of indifferent about it as I'm really on the fence of if I still want to stay in this country for much longer. So, I'm also considering pursuing other opportunities back in Europe. This is my present conundrum.

While I'm relatively unexcited about tomorrow's interview, since the company is flying me out to Chicago for the day and back supposedly, I exchanged the ticket to get a stop-over in Seattle, WA on my way back home. Why? To visit my favorite relatives (aunt, uncle and two cousins effectinately called "the brats" who are in their early/mid 20's now). Plus, I may meet up with a VERY old friend of mine who I haven't seen for over 15 years if things work out. Since I found out Deputy Dawg passed, I've kind of reconsidered getting back in touch with old friends.

Speaking of old friends, I spoke to Kev-bo the other day as I wanted to turn my Chicago trip into a stop-over to Montreal, but he said he was going to be in Germany. Better luck next time. I gave him the name of a bar called "Bau" in Munich that I LOVE going to. It's a regular seedy gay bar, but it's PACKED with horny guys from all over...not just Germans. Everytime I've gone there I've always ended up fucking a couple (or few) guys in the bathroom there. Those Germans, I tell ya.

Last night Chef came over and spent the night. He's been having to do his "community service" cleaning roadsides etc for his DUI, so I picked him up in San Jose when his "shift" ended. We went and worked out, had pizza, watched "Amores Perros", then fucked like dogs and went to bed. He's a very obnoxious sleeper and takes up the whole bed, but it was still nice to have him there (even though I didn't sleep much).

Going to Disneyland

Well, that's what I felt like yesterday anyway. I put a hook-up ad online yesterday and got an email from a 19-year-old kid who said he was very curious and really wanted to have sex with a guy. I was like, "uh....yeah." as it sounded too fake to be real. But I did respond, and he sent me a picture (obviously just taken from his cell phone). Things looked interesting, so I gave him my address and sure enough, he did come over....and DAMN!!!! He was EVERYTHING he said he was! 19, VERY good looking (but not a pretty-boy), blond, light skinned - he looked like a 10-year-old blond Scott Wolfe, so I'll call him Scott. Scott was a "wigger" who though white, dressed in a hood-rat style and also called people "foo" and "G" in a white-trash accent exactly like Kevin Federline. When he came to my door, he was VERY nervous and I believed him when he said he had never done this (well, maybe he had but on very few occasions). I guided him into my bedroom, but then he chickened out and said, "Sorry dude I'm just too nervous" and then quickly headed back to my front door to leave. I followed him over and said, "Hey, this is just gonna be between us. You don't gotta be nervous. OK? I guarantee whatever we do you're gonna enjoy. And no one has to know about it." As I was talking I was rubbing my crotch through my sweats. He looked at my bulge and hesitantly started fondling me and let out a groan as he felt how big I was. He said nervously, "I'm like...um...can I suck it?" I flipped my cock out and looked down at it, then back to him and said, "Yeah. Go for it." He crouched down and started sucking me, and though I'm NOT into oral sex and he wasn't very good at it at all, it was SUCH A FUCKING TURN ON to have this "straight" white kid sucking me. He was really kind of getting agressive to the point where I was feeling uncomfortable, and I pulled him off and said, "Hey, let's go into the other room. We can get more relaxed. I don't want to do this by my front door."

After a bit more prodding, he was finally coaxed into my bedroom. I pulled off his b-ball shorts and shirt and jacket, but he kept his shoes on. He had a few blond pubes around his small dick with a cute ball sack underneath. He said, "Can you suck ME now?" I said, "I'll do something even better. Turn around." He started nervously laughing and said, "Hey, you're not gonna fuck my ass dude!" "I said, nah...wasn't gonna do that. Just turn around." DAMN! He had SUCH A SWEET ASS. When I put my mouth on it he immediately started groaning and wimpering. And when I put my tongue in him, I thought he was going to cum right there from the sound of things. But I reached under him and felt his dick, it was small and saggy. I'm pretty sure he was enjoying it, he was just too nervous. After a few minutes of tonguing his hole, he looked over at me from behind and said, "you have a condom?" I said, "Yup. You want me to put it in you?" He said, "no, I want to ride it. I don't think I can cuz I've never done it before and you're big, but just want to try. You made me pretty horny." So, I suited up, lied down on the bed and he squatted his beautiful boy-butt over my throbbing cock. And yup, he took it all the way down. But once again, he was getting too agressive and I thought he was gong to bend my cock at a painful angle, but it finally slipped out of him anyway. He hurriedly tried to get it back inside him, but I said, "Hey, you're turn to lie down now." He followed orders and lie down and let me mount him missionary. I fucked that kid for a good 20 minutes; slow at first but he let me do whatever I wanted until I finally shot my load. He never got hard at all throughout the whole thing. But after I was done he said, "Can I do you now?" I said, "Not tonite. maybe the next time" (yeah right). He looked kind of disappointed, but I said, "There's other ways to get YOU off, li'l bro." He said, "can you jerk me?" "No problem" I said, but actually...it was. It took like 45 minutes for him to cum, and my arm was WAY sore after that. Right after he came, he got a towel to wipe himself up, put his clothes on like nothing had happened and said, "You think you could buy me some beer at Safeway?" I don't know if I'll ever see him again, but this was DEFINITELY one for the books. Yes, I went to Disneyland yesterday.

Today was planned as a very low-key day around the house. But this morning I got a call from Toby asking if he could come over. Like they say, feast or famine. I said yes (I mean after all, it had already been over 7 hours since I got laid) and we were doing the bone-dance shortly thereafter. As Toby was getting ready to leave, he told me he was heading back to Indiana for good. Bummer.

Deputy Dawg 1968 - 2007 RIP

This morning I checked my account, and finally Antonio had deposited the money he owed me, so I was grateful to be able to forget about this whole episode and never have to think about him or this experience again. Then I remembered I have an errand I need to do down in San Jose next week, so I figured I'd make a call to see some old friends down there to pass the time. I called one friend of mine that I've known for 15 years (aka from "back in the day") but his cell was disconnected. So, I called his work, where I was told he had passed away. I kind of suspected as much.

I met "Deputy Dawg" when I worked at one of the worst jobs I've ever had at my life; a loan officer for Household Finance Corporation (now bought by the British bank HSBC). It was one of my first "real" jobs, and it gave me a VERY good (or bad, depending on perspective) view into corporate politics, greed, finance and back-stabbing. But while it was a horrible learning experience, I also made some very good friends, and formed a tight bond with my fellow co-workers who were suffering through it along side me. One of those friends, was a very good-looking, outgoing guy who was 2 years older than me who had just gotten out of the army and looked like a short-haired Mario Lopez. We all had nick-names for each other, and his was "Deputy Dawg" because he was the office Manager's right-hand man. Deputy Dawg was a good "drinking-buddy" type of friend, in that we would always go and party together at clubs, bars, road-trips to Mexico etc. He was a total "man's man" and though he had a girlfriend would cheat on her with any other woman that crossed his path. And on several occasions, when we were drinking, we'd share a moment of intimacy where we were one step away from "crossing over to the other side". But in retrospect, both of us were more afraid of the consequences of doing anything and potentially sacrificing our masculinity, so nothing ever happened (but damn, it sure could have).

In recent years I'd been distancing myself from those types of friends for a lot of reasons. The biggest was that I found myself only drinking around those particular friends. I did it for several reasons; to fit in, to be on their level, to dull my urge to possibly mess around with the ones I was attracted to (they don't know about my particular tendencies), and of course to escape reality. I've never really even liked alcohol, but just really enjoyed the commeraderie. So, when I stopped hitting the bars and skipping the weekend house-parties and sports parties with them, we gradually lost contact. But not completely. We always knew how to keep in touch by email here or a phone call there, even though it may be once a year if that. But the last time I saw Deputy Dawg was a year and half ago when we met at a brewery down in San Jose. When I saw him, he was still very big and buffed, but now slightly bloated and completely bald from chemo. The fact was when we had both started at HFC 15 some odd years ago, he had been released from the Army due to the fact that he had been diagnosed with lung cancer. He made a full recovery and was in remission until only about 2 years ago when it apparently came back. He told me as we met that the chemo had worked and he expected it to go into remission again. It was good to catch up with him, and we left promissing to get back together for a bigger reunion with other mutual friends. Well, one thing leads to another and life has a way of catching up with all of us. And when his cell was disconnected, I kind of knew what was coming. I wish I had made a point to get back in touch with him earlier than this week. If I had tried only a few months ago, at least I could have said good-bye.

Anyway, I'm fairly confident he's in a much better place, and he definitely knows how much our friendship meant. Even though we hadn't kept in close touch, we both knew we were friends and at any point in time we could call each other up and pick up exactly where we left off. So, Deputy Dawg, my homie, my friend, mi carnal...rest in peace. And we'll see you on the other side.